Monday, September 17, 2007

Well, that's just all of a piece, isn't it?

My favorite author died today after a long illness. He was just 58. He was also at least two books away from finishing the series I've been reading and re-reading since about 1990-91.

Rest in Peace
James Oliver Rigney Jr.
Robert Jordan
You fought the good fight,
rest now
Finding out was just the absolute perfect top to an incredibly shitty day. Still don't have a vehicle that is safe to drive, so called and canceled the dentist appointment I had for tomorrow. I just can't drive that stupid van, and the man won't get it fixed and I can't pay for it cause I have no freekin' job and no freekin' vehicle to get me back and forth from one if I had one to begin with! And canceling the appointment really bummed me out, so I spent all day crying off and on. I was so looking forward to having a pretty smile, or at least a reasonably decent one.
And my little gifty/card/thingy never arrived in Japan so Nagano-san never got it, nor ever will and I can't make another one like it, no two are ever the same. Besides, it depresses me so much to think about it that I wouldn't be able to work on anything with a clear mind and happy heart. And besides, I wouldn't send him anything that I worked on when I wasn't feeling my absolute best. Wouldn't want to send any bad vibes his way. Made sure I only worked on it while I was feeling really good and happy and full of good thoughts for him. I don't feel that way now. I just feel depressed and sad and crappy and like what's the use. I mean, it wasn't anything spectacular or fine or expensive, just a little silver wire charm I formed and hung on a bit of braided hemp. It was merely the receptacle for the good wishes and admiration I feel for him. Oh well, perhaps the well wishes reached him, even if my gift did not.
I just feel so yucky today. I wish I could go back and start the day all over. Well, maybe not. It might just get worse. I hate crying. Talk about an utter waste of time and effort. It never changes anything and it just makes other people uncomfortable when they find out, or see you doing it. Think I'll just finish up my little chores and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow will be better.


Jeannie said...

I am very sorry to have learn that Robert Jordan passed away. I only hope that his last moments were peaceful and that he was surrounded by his loved ones.

Did you ever see my teeth? While it is true that I will have a beautiful smile in a couple of years, right now I have these bad teeth WITH METAL ON THEM! It's not a pretty site. But I have learned something in the past few weeks- we're much too hard on ourselves!! Some people were honestly surprised that I needed braces. That was so hard for me to believe! But please believe me when I say that any "flaw" in your smile is noticed far more by you than by others.

And please email directly regarding your gift to Nagano-san. Maybe I can help find out some definite info. for you. If you mailed your gift to Takasui, then it probably did get there. Don't worry, dear friend!

If you ever want to talk, I'm just an email away.


Some Kinda Wonderful said...

Hi Bunny. I know I shouldn't get so upset over it. It will happen, one of these days. It's just that I was so excited to be finally getting it underway and now I have to wait some more. Big bummer.

The charm I made for Nagano-san was sent to cuteyhoney when everyone else sent stuff. She said she would let me know if/when it arrived and I haven't heard from her, so... another bummer.

I think I'll just spend today in my comfy old bathrobe, curled up reading a Robert Jordan book. That man was such a genius.