As you all know, I've been diagnosed with diabetes. I found out when I went to the doctor because of excess tiredness and chest pains and that is what he found out. When I found out, my sugar was over 400. It now runs between 210 and 250, which is some improvement, but still not good. As a consequence of the tiredness and pain in my legs I haven't been walking like I was doing before. (if you've read any of my earlier posts, you will know that before the problems started I had worked myself up to walking between 3 and 3.5 miles a day) In fact, I haven't walked any in a month or more. So today, while I was waiting for my first load of laundry to wash, I thought, what the heck? Let me do a little walking on the treadmill. My goal was to do at least 15 minutes or half a mile, whichever came first. By the time I had walked for 5 minutes my legs felt like they wanted to fall off. By 10 minutes they were screaming at me to stop. So, the best I could do was 13 minutes and .4 miles. Today.
Tomorrow I will go farther, if it's only 13 minutes and 30 seconds or .41 miles. I will go farther. I refuse to be this fat, ugly, lazy, lump for the rest of my life. I was doing so good, too. I was getting fit, I was loosing weight, I was feeling better about my life and my self, I was gaining confidence. And now I have start all over. But I can do it. I know I can. I have to. I want to feel good again and have energy and be able to do the things I want to do.
At first I was sort of depressed at how bad I did today. But I'm not going to fall into that trap. I should be impressed that I was able to do as good as I did considering how I feel. I should be proud of myself. And I am, now, after I've had a little while to think about it. And I am baking bread today, so I got a good workout for my arms, too. Sourdough bread takes some kneading. I haven't done it in a while and I can already feel it in my forearms. They will be sore tomorrow, I'm sure. But the bread is always worth it.
Anyway, just needed to reaffirm that I am a worthwhile person and that I did good today. Everyone should feel free to encourage and/or congratulate me. A little soul butter would feel so good right about now.