Beauty In the Eyes of Beholders....

So, saw a headline on the news ticker this morning calling what Hillary won in Florida last night a "Beauty Pageant". How condescending is that? I understand that no delegates were seated for the Democrats last night. But over 1.5 million Florida Democrats spent the time and effort to go out and vote yesterday, even tho the DNC has denied them a voice in the process. Which, by the way, I think is illegal. That's "voter disenfranchisement", isn't it? I thought it was illegal in this country to deny the vote to anyone who is a citizen and not a felon and is properly registered. And when Hillary showed up in Florida after the polls had closed, to give a victory speech and thank her supporters, nearly one million of them, everyone jumped on her for "breaking the pledge" not to campaign down there. Well, the polls were closed, she wasn't campaigning, she was thanking. I swear, the media are really getting on my nerve about this. They are all so biased toward Barack Obama, and guess what? If he gets the nomination I will be biased toward him too. But he hasn't got the nomination yet... they should just let it play out and let the American people decide.

In point of fact, tho, the American people do not decide. The whole system is so convoluted and weighted in favor of these "Super Delegates" and the Party heads and the candidates themselves. We actually have no say in the matter of who gets the nomination for our party. No more do we have a real say in who gets the job at the end of this long, drawn-out process of electing a President. The more I learn about it, the more I am convinced that the whole time-consuming ordeal is just a snow job by the powers that be to trick "We the People" into thinking that we really do have a voice, when in fact, we do not. I don't understand how the system got so crooked; when it started, why... I only know that our government has turned into the "evil machine" that sci-fi writers try to scare us with. The AI that takes control and won't let go and can't be shut down and only cares about it's own survival.

John Edwards bailed out today. He hasn't endorsed anyone yet, and I'm not sure who it would help and who it would hurt if he did. Say he endorses Obama; that might lead some (i.e. the media) to accuse the "boys" of ganging up on the "girl", and might be a help for Hillary instead of helping Obama. Or, he endorses Hillary; which could lead to some saying the whites are pairing up against the black. Personally, I hope he stays neutral. I wonder what the ramifications are for the debate tomorrow night? It will just be Hillary and Obama on the stage. There will be more moderators there than candidates. That's kind of funny, if you think about it. It's kinda sad, too. We started this election cycle with so many good candidates. I really like Joe Biden. He's an incredibly intelligent man. However, they've all fallen by the wayside, and now we are down to two. I can't wait until Super-Duper Tuesday, when I can go down and cast my vote for Hillary. I'm planning a nice little feast for the occasion. Special food, a few decorations, an evening of watching the returns come in. How exciting.

John McCain won the GOP primary in Florida. Thank Goodness! 36% of the vote to Romney's 31%. Rudy finished 3rd and bailed. He's going to endorse McCain some time today. Huckasleeze came in fourth and Ron Paul came in fifth. They had Thompson and Hunter on the ballot as well, but the votes they got were negligible and had to have been mostly "voter error". I'm just glad that it wasn't really, really close. I was cringing at the thought of a re-count.

Whoever wins the Democratic nomination will have a hard time beating McCain if he gets the GOP nomination. I don't care. Naturally I want the Democrat to win, but just in case... I want someone running for the GOP who will represent me, too. Just in case the Democrats don't win. Romney doesn't want to be my President any more than Bush does. At this point in time, as a Democrat, I have no representation. I think that if John McCain gets the GOP nomination and he beats the Democratic nominee in the general to become President, he will be President for me and everyone else.

I was going to try to dredge up some more of my childhood memories, but that sounds like too much work, right now. I will have to do that later. Just wanted to jot down some of my impressions of last night and today.

Herstory

I think the Democrats are clapping so long because they are so happy that this is the very last State of the Union address that chimp face will ever give. Everyone is clapping and clapping and clapping. Even the grinning idiot, Madame Speaker Pelosi, is clapping. Darth Cheney is not clapping. He is wearing his usual sour grimace. The chimp is thanking his posse of "yes men". Wonder if he'll say the word "nuke- uler" tonight? Oh, I give up. I can't watch the man. I can't stand the sound of his voice. When I look at him I have such a strong urge to slap him repeatedly, as hard as I can. And also to knock him down and jump up and down on him. Jump up and down on him while wearing 6" stiletto heels. I will have to turn this off for now and catch the wrap-up show afterwards. MSNBC is having Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann co-anchor again. I'll just wait and watch them later.

Oh Viggo! What were you thinking?!

Picture of Viggo Mortensen from the "red carpet" of the SAG awards, January 27, 2008. He was nominated in the category "Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role" for his roll in the movie Eastern Promises. Not usually my type of movie, but it might be worth renting (or buying) just for the scenes of Mr. Mortensen wearing, ahem... very little, indeed. Check out the trailer at the movie site, girls. His body is way more beautiful than that hideous picture above would lead you to believe.

Interesting, yet somewhat troubling, article, "He's Not as Smart as He Thinks" about "perceived intelligence" in men and women. I don't say he's wrong, because I don't have a great deal of trust in my own abilities. But I don't think men are smarter than me. I will usually feel that another woman is smarter than I am. As some of you may have noticed from my other blog posts, I'm more likely to question men's intelligence than I am women's. The smartest, strongest, most capable of enduring, people I have ever known have all been women. My mother, my grand-mother, my 3rd grade teacher, my best friend in junior high school's Mom Katherine. My third grade teacher, Miss Welch, never married. The rest of them were all married to men who didn't respect them, abused them, cheated on them, were alcoholics, who treated them like "lesser' entities. And they all found the strength inside themselves to pick themselves up, take their children and move on to a better life. I don't think any of the men they left behind were very smart at all. Looking back on what I just wrote, is it any wonder that my first husband was very similar to theirs. Thank Goodness I learned from their mistakes and was also able to move on. Come to think of it, my first husband thought he was smarter than me, too, just like all of theirs did. Are all men just prone to violence? Prone to treating the women in their lives like door mats (or punching bags)? Or are some women (like the women in my family) just drawn to men who are? Well, I guess that's a question for another day.

Thanks to Mr. Mike's blog about one of his Christmas gifts, I've been thinking about when I grew up and what my life story is and how the way I grew up and how my early experiences influence the way I live my life now, the way I think about things now. How the mistakes I made as a young adult still affect me. And as I think about my life and how the way I feel about myself is the result of the way I was raised and the way I was treated as a child, I have to think about my mother's life and how her early experiences affected her and the way she felt about us (my sister and me) and the way she raised us. And from that, extrapolate the reasons behind the way she raised us and the way her feelings about me continue to impact my life.

My mother was the second born child of Harvey Adele West and Mattie Cora Bell West, born on November 19, 1944. It might have been the 18th, Granny didn't remember and records weren't as assiduously kept back then. Especially for "poor white trash" migrant farm workers. It says the 19th on her birth certificate, but my great-grandmother, who mid-wifed, always said it was the 18th. No matter... My grandmother was the second born child in her family, too. She had one sister and 3 brothers. My grandfather was the oldest born of his family. He had two sisters, two half-brothers and one step-brother. My grandmother was the daughter of relatively prosperous merchants and farmers. My grandfather was the son of an uneducated, alcoholic, abusive woodsman and sometime itinerant preacher. They spent much of their time out in the woods in camps cutting timber for the railroads. They met because my grandmother's older brother met him in a drinking establishment and brought him home to eat. He saw my grandmother in the kitchen making biscuits and swore that was the woman he was going to marry. They did eventually, and because he wasn't educated and couldn't read and write, he had no prospect of getting ahead so they followed the crops and worked as migrant farm workers. They had 8 children, 5 boys and 3 girls. A miracle that, considering the conditions in which they lived and the lack of health care. She had 8 children, all born alive and healthy and who all lived to adulthood. She herself lived until just 4 months before her 69th birthday.

My mother grew up poor. Not poor like people in America are poor nowadays. They were dirt poor. Living in tents or in an old car or truck, sometimes. Her family traveled the country from Michigan to Maine to Pennsylvania and down south to Arkansas and Mississippi and Missouri on down to Florida. Picking whatever crop was ready for picking; blueberries, cherries, apples, cotton, oranges... I never could figure out how Mama could stand to have anything to do with growing and harvesting, how she could stand to work in that greenhouse and get all dirty and sweaty. I surely didn't like it. But she did. She loved the greenhouse and she loved to garden. I still don't like it. If I want fresh veggies, I'll go to the farmer's market. Besides her mother and father and siblings, they traveled with extended family, a mentally disabled uncle, a spinster aunt, and after her grandfather died, her grandmother, too. She wasn't always able to go to school, she was too valuable as a worker. She could pick cotton as quick as an adult and pull as heavy a sack. She could pick faster, carry more and work longer than most adults. So... she went to school only on occasion.

When she finally graduated (on time and with her age mates, because her teachers helped her) she wanted to go live in Orlando (they were living in a house in Apopka, FL by then) and go to work at AT&T, which had just opened a big facility down there. Her mother told her that that would be immoral for a girl her age to move into the city and live on her own. "Good" girls stayed at home until they married. By which my grandmother meant that Mama should stay at home and continue working crappy, low paying jobs and turning her paycheck over to her parents. And she did. And she always regretted it. She finally ended up marrying my biological father, Keith Pritchard, just to get out of the situation. Wrong move. He was very abusive. He beat her frequently; tied her up and raped her on occasion; chased her out of the house and shot at her as she ran when he'd had too much to drink and wanted to feel macho.

That is the home my sister and I were born in to. When she was pregnant with my sister, he beat her severely when she was just a couple weeks from her due date. I think he was trying to kill one or both of them. He carried on with another woman right in front of her while she was pregnant with me. Dropped her off at her mother's house when she was near her due date with me and didn't bother to come back until several weeks after I was born. Soon after I was born they moved to Tennessee. He was from there and had family there. We lived in a house that had no inside running water, no toilet, only an outhouse. The only reason we had water in the kitchen is because my mother ran a pipe from the well pump (a real pump that you had to... well... pump, to get water out of) into the kitchen window so that it drained into the basin. We took baths in a galvanized tub. The same one she washed clothes in, by hand. We had one electric light because the old couple who lived nearby let Mama run an extension cord from their light pole to our house. We had one light, in the kitchen. I don't recall Keith being there much. I think that's when he became a truck driver. I'm not sure. I know that when he was there it was scary. When he started including my sister and me in his beatings Mama decided it was time to go. I remember being carried by my mother through a snowy field, running around bushes and hay stacks and climbing through fences and the sound of gun-shots behind us. She ran all the way to Uncle Johnny and Aunt Kristine's house. They loaned her the money for train tickets to Florida. We had to sit up in those hard seats in the poor folks car. Mom didn't have any food to give us all the way from Huntingdon, TN to Orlando, FL. She had some powdered milk and she would try to get us to drink it, but it's nasty stuff. I don't like it to this day. An old man and an old lady gave us each a piece of fruit. A banana and an apple. That was all we had to eat all that long way. I have gone hungry since then, too. I hate being hungry. Whenever anyone asks me what my idea of being rich is, or what I would do if I won the lottery or whatever, my real, secret, thought is: I would only eat foods that I like and that taste good. I would never, ever, ever eat any blessed thing that I didn't want to eat, ever again.

I think that I will let that be the end of Chapter One in my life story. It's getting late and I'm sleepy. I will maybe try to remember some more of my early life tomorrow. It's hard. There are things there that hurt to remember. As well as things that feel good to remember. You just never know which is going to come to the fore.

The "Matchmaker" and Other Fun Games

Two more people "in the news", who look quite similar to me. Is it just my imagination, or do they look a lot alike?

James "Thou shalt have no other God before me, personally" Dobson Focus on the Family Founder Militant Right Wing Fascist Pig

Larry "I have a wide stance" Craig Republican Senator from Idaho "I am not gay" Pig

Now that that's over with...

I've been doing that a lot lately. Matching things and people up, seeing similarities, etc. It can get annoying. Especially when other's don't see what I see.

Speaking of annoying; I've noticed something that has happened rather frequently the past few weeks. Every where Pete and I go together, people stare at us, or me, or him, I don't know... perhaps it's just our age difference, but dammit, it's rude! We were walking into the Kroger yesterday and this old lady was walking out, pushing her buggy. And the old bitch was just staring at us all the way down the parking lane. She even turned her head as she passed us. I said to Pete quite loudly, "Whys that old hussy staring at us? Has my face turned green?" I don't know if she heard me, but I hope she did. A woman of her age should know better than to stare at people like that. I don't guess it would have ticked me off so bad if it hadn't been happening every place we go. I guess I should just get used to it and ignore it, but it is rude. And further more, I don't like it. The funny thing I've noticed about it is this: The women who stare are always older than me. The men who stare are always younger. Is that weird or what? I have no clue what it means, if anything. Could be something... could be nothing...

I think I'll start a new game. Pete will be mad, but it sounds like fun to me. Maybe I can convince him to play along with me. I think that from now on, when I see someone staring at me, I will very obviously stare back at them. Or maybe I'll just stick my tongue out at them. No, Pete wouldn't do that. Perhaps I'll just start asking them why they are staring at me. No, Pete wouldn't approve of that, either. I guess it'll have to be just staring back at them. When it happens it just makes me feel real "catty". But I guess I ought not go around starting fights with people, eh? Sounds like fun, tho, and it would be justified, wouldn't it?

So... Barak Obama won the South Carolina Democratic Primary. By a handy margin, in fact. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The exit polls looked to me like he got most of the black vote and Hillary Clinton and John Edwards split the white vote. I can hardly blame African-American voters for voting their race. Not since I know I am going to be voting my gender on February 5, 2008. I said to my husband yesterday while we were driving around town, "I would hate to be a black woman and have to make that decision this election cycle." And I don't mean that in a "racist" way. It's just a fact. Of course, he didn't have a clue what I was talking about until I 'splained it to him. Men are so dense, I swear! I am trying so hard to raise my son up to be more observant, more sensitive to the moods of the community around him. I would like him to be more open minded, more aware than his father is. Unfortunately, I can attest that it is indeed NATURE and not NURTURE. However hard I try, the boy is just a boy. And he's growing into a fine young man, but he's still a man. No matter how much I love him, I have to admit to that. It must be genetic, something about they way they evolved.

Moving on...

I did not walk or do any exercises today. My knees are still throbbing and my legs just ache from all that walking around we did yesterday. And now... my right heel has decided to start hurting too. And my back was doing those spasm things again today. Lord! Sometimes I feel like I'm just falling apart! I'm tired of feeling so ache-y, and lethargic, and weak. This is no fun, so I'm not going to do it anymore. When I wake up tomorrow I'm going to magically feel all better. Dang! Don't I wish it was that easy.

The good news is, I just checked my sugar before I ate my supper and it was 193. The second day in a row that it was below 200! That's exciting. To me, anyway. I even went and woke Pete up and told him. Got a kiss out of the deal, so that was good, too. Tomorrow or Tuesday will be the halfway point in his treatments. I'll have to go check it on the calender to be sure, but it's close. I plan on making something special for supper that day. The treatments are starting to wear on him, tho. He now goes to bed at 8:00pm whereas he used to go at 9:00 or 9:30. Two times last week he over slept in the morning, too. He's always been one of those people with an internal alarm clock that wakes him up at 3:30 every morning. And twice last week he over-slept. Once til 4:15 and once til 4:30. He wasn't late to work because he is always up extra early anyway, because of his damned internal workings, but it bothered him. He usually uses his extra hour or so to drink a cup of coffee, read the newspaper a little, browse the web... then he gets his shower and does his getting ready for work and when he over-slept he didn't get to do his usual morning routine. I know how that throws the whole day off. It does for me, anyway. But he was mortified. I try to sympathize, but what can I really do? Or say? I feel for what he's going through, but I don't KNOW what he's going through. How could I? It may sound selfish, but I hope I never KNOW. I don't ever want to know what it feels like to have cancer.

I think I've rambled on enough for one post. Think I'll go see what's on TV or play a game with Thomas before he goes to bed. I have to wait until 11:30 so I can check my after meal sugar. I shouldn't have waited so long to eat supper, but I just wasn't hungry. And even tho I waited I still couldn't eat all that the diabetes lady said I should. I'm trying to follow her plan exactly, but I can't eat that much. And the plan she has me on right now is supposed to be for loosing weight. Its not even the "maintenance" plan she drew up for me for after I reach my goal weight. So, if I can't eat everything, I should loose faster, right? Wrong. I'm supposed to eat the stuff exactly like she told me too. What do I know anyway? Not much when it comes to this, but I'm learning.

So, I'll see you guys around, kay? G'nite.

Tea & Teardrops

I was making myself a cup of raspberry leaf tea this afternoon and all of a sudden the smell brought back so forcefully to me the smell of Mama's herb room. With my eyes closed I could swear I was back there. I could hear her humming under her breath like she always did when she was grinding up the herbs and making her concoctions. She was so happy doing that. We used to laugh at her and tease her about being a "witch doctor". But what she gave you always worked. Always. That was her calling. I think she was born maybe "out of her time". Now days people scoff at herbal remedies and homeopathic medicine, but what do they think our ancestors used back to the beginning of the human race? Even non-human animals will use plants and earth and bark and such for cures. It's been documented by scientists who study animals in the wild.

Anyway... the scent was so strong in my mind that I was in the herb room with her. I admit I cried a little bit. Sometimes I miss her so much. I think she was trying to tell me something, but I haven't figured out what yet. I will have another cup tomorrow, or maybe the blueberry leaf. She always said they were good for keeping your sugar down. My uncle Gene swore by the blueberry leaf. She also recommended Bilberry leaf, but the store didn't have any when I was there. So I got raspberry leaf and blueberry leaf. I've had them both several times since I bought them, but neither ever had the effect on me that it did today. That's why I think she was trying to speak to me. I think she wants me to remember something she told me about treating diabetes. I will go somewhere quiet tomorrow to sip my tea and remember.

I never noticed this before, but...

John Edwards looks a whole lot like Clay Aiken. Is it just cause they are both from South Carolina originally? I'm not saying anything... but they do resemble.

And I just have one thing to say to these people who are "phone banking" and using their cell-phone free night and weekend minutes to make calls on behalf of whichever political candidate they support:

Stop it you freekin' idiots!!!

If you keep this up you're going to ruin it for all of us. Don't you think the phone companies are going to catch on eventually? Especially since it's all over the web, all over the TV and also in the print press. We'll all be lucky to have free nights and weekends after this campaign season. Idiots! Dorks! Would you just stop and think for once? You are all just messing your own nest and you don't have sense enough to see it. And not only are you ruining it for yourselves, which is your prerogative; but you are ruining it for all the rest of us, which is not your prerogative. So just stop, okay?

I was going to blog about the report that came out which supports the idea that Bush and his administration, gasp! LIED to get us into the war in Iraq. But I'm just too tired. And I'm angry and I'm sad and I feel somewhat vindicated, since I was one of those on the web who was called a crack-pot, a conspiracy theorist, an anti-Bush Democrat, as well as many other, less nice, names. All because I expressed my opinion that Bush/Cheney and the whole cast of characters in the White House, were not being completely honest with the American people.

Which reminds me... I've been meaning to speak a word about this: There's been a lot said over the past year about who among the Democrats supported the war, who didn't, who apologized for doing so, who didn't. So what that Hillary voted for the war, or whatever it was she says she thought she was voting for. If she hadn't voted for the war at that time, when Americans were so hip hip hooray for Bush and willing to lay down and let him use them for a floor mat, those very same Americans who are upset about it now, are the very same one's who would have condemned her if she had not. Same for John Edwards, whom I think made a big mistake when he apologized for his vote. What good is an apology after the fact?! Anyway...same for all the Democrats who supported it. They were actually, truly between a rock and a hard place. Think back to how most Americans were willing to give away their basic rights; the rights our forefathers tried to guarantee for us; just to be safe. Safe? How safe are we when our President acts like a dictator and the Congress encourages him! How are we safer when our government can come haul you away like a sack of turnips and not have to tell you why, not have to tell your family where they are taking you, not have to give you the right to an attorney nor a speedy trial... when they can listen in on your private phone calls without having to let you or anyone else know... when they can just go pillaging thru your library records for God's sake! I'm sorry, that don't make me feel safe. It makes me feel scared. And angry. And disgusted.

Well, that's off my chest for now. Maybe I'll blog about that other thing tomorrow. I just can't do it right now. I'm still so angry I can't think coherently about it. I'm angry with them, with the media, with the Congress, and with "my fellow Americans" especially. This past seven years has nearly stolen all my faith away that America is the best and brightest in the world. Its almost totally confirmed to me that Americans are the laziest, stupidest, small-mindedest, most parochial, etc., etc., people in the world. I know it isn't so. At least not every one is that way, but a great whole lot of them are and it's awful, terrible, and it doesn't bode well for our beloved country's future.

A Grinning Idiot & Some Sleepy Old Men

Nancy Pelosi: she may be a good Representative to her constituents, but she makes a piss-poor Speaker of the House. That dufus smile of hers gets on my nerve. Its so patently fake. She reminds me of the Joker from Batman. Only she doesn't present herself as being that smart. But that "fixed" smile she wears all the time has got to go. She looks like a "grinning idiot". And that Harry Reid, he is an idiot. How'd he get elected in the first place? And how did he get to be the "most powerful" Democrat in the Senate? Neither of them seem like good choices to me, for the posts they now hold. I guess they were the "stop-gap" measure until the Dems could get the White House again. All the other Reps and Senators who had been in Congress long enough to qualify for the jobs were too smart to accept them.


I think it's pretty disgraceful the way they've been showing poor old Bill Clinton sleeping in church this past Sunday. To be fair, one of the networks, I think it was MSNBC, did show some clips of Ronald Reagan and Dick Cheney also asleep at the helm, so to speak. At least Bill never got caught napping thru a policy meeting. I'll admit that I am more upset by seeing Bill shown (repeatedly) taking a little snooze behind the pastor, but I think its disrespectful to all of them. Good ol Ronnie was an old man, he had health problems. Dick Cheney and Bill Clinton both are known to have heart problems. Serious ones. And Bill, at least, has been on the go, fast and furious, for the past several months campaigning for his wife. And before that, he was running around the world with the first President Bush, shaking people and governments down for aid for the Tsunami stricken in South Asia. Poor man's got to be feeling it by now. I only hope he can last out the campaign. Sometimes he looks so incredibly tired, just worn out. I feel sorry for him. Regardless of how you feel about him, he is one of the greatest men of our time. He's done far more good in the world than he's done bad. And personally, I never thought it was any body's business but his, Hillary's and Chelsey's how many times he cheated on his wife nor who with. And I guess I should say a kind word for Darth Cheney, as well. He is old, he does do a lot of business. Being that evil can't be easy. I'm pretty sure he has to work kinda hard at it. There, that's the best I can do for him. I would criticize him or poke fun at him for more valid reasons than falling asleep while listening to Bush and his coterie droning on and on about how smart they are.


And can someone please tell me why the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee is wasting their time and our tax money on investigating whether or not baseball players have been using steroids? Why are our elected officials wasting my money on this instead of spending their time doing the business they were elected to do? If steroids were illegal, and the civilian police find that people were doing it, then they should be charged and tried in a court of law. If that ghoulish looking fellow who runs baseball is found to have known about it and not done anything about it, he should be charged and tried, too. But let the civilian legal system take care of it. Why is it the business of the government? And further more, why aren't more people asking this same question?

Watched that show on the History Channel last night, the one I was so looking forward to: "Life After People". It was alright. Thomas and I enjoyed it, but it was a little too "special effects" and a not enough "substance", for me. I mean, they did a really good job on the CG stuff, and the subject matter was fairly thought provoking... but still... I would have liked to have seen less special effects and heard more from the scientists. I think they could have cut down on the "sensationalism" aspect of it and gotten more in depth about what they think might really happen.

I was able to walk a total of one hour today. I did 3 20 minute walks. Went a total of 1.8 miles. My sugar was way too high this morning. 348 after meal. But the coach warned me about that. She said it might be higher in the mornings, and it is. I will see Dr. Hogue next Tuesday and he will change my meds. Until then, all I can do is the best that I can do. Felt really, really tired today, but made myself do my walks anyway. I'll admit, I didn't get much else done today. Slept late, spent an hour and a half on the phone with the insurance company and the doctor's office and the pharmacy. Fun, fun, fun... having health issues is so damned fun! I wish George W. Frickin' Bush could have this much fun. I could also wish this administration and this Congress a plague of never-healing butt-boils, too. But, oh well... one can only hope that, indeed, what comes around goes around, and that they will get their just reward. If not in this life, then in the next, whatever life that may be.

Have not had a cigarette in nearly two months, and today made me want one really bad. I have held out so far, tho. Pete has still not quit completely and I don't think he really wants to. I wish he would. It would be so much easier for me to stay quit if he would go ahead and do it. He claims he only smokes 2 cigarettes a day, but dang. When I got down to that, I quit in a matter of a week, week and a half. I am trying to have patience and be supportive but it is getting hard to not just speak my mind. It's been a month he's been telling me that and I just don't believe him anymore.

Well, off to do my June Cleaver routine. Pack the lunch, ready the breakfast, set the coffee maker, find some healthy treats for his afternoon snack (Pete's not Thomas')... I do the 50's thing really well, most of the time. And it doesn't really bother me that much. At least when they remember to act like they appreciate it. When they start acting like it's my job to wait on them hand and foot I can get real bitchy. Little words like "Please" and "thank you" are so important. Politeness greases the wheels, so to speak. It keeps our society rolling along smoothly. When I am not treated politely... well, lets just say "the wheels" can sometimes fall off.

Take care everyone! And thank you very much for taking the time to read my little blog. I appreciate it.

hhollyd

Food... for thought and for eating.

My second "Cheese Log" blog is up. Comte French Raw Milk Alpine Cheese. Delightful.

I gotta tell you guys about my newest food find. You guys might already know about it, but if I find something good, I feel like I'm obligated to spread the word so my friends can enjoy it, too.

So, here's the story:
Pete has been bemoaning the fact that he can't have pork sausage for Sunday breakfast anymore. So, Friday while I was at the Kroger, I spotted some Jimmy Dean "Light" Pork Sausage. Thought I would give it a try. Surprise, surprise... it was actually quite tasty. And you know what else? It actually had less sodium than the regular hot style which is what I used to buy. That is always one of my complaints about these new "healthier" style products. You can get "low sodium" products, or you can get "low fat" products, but you sure as hell can't find "low sodium and low fat" products. Its frustrating. And everything "healthy" is always more expensive. As if the regular stuff doesn't cost enough already. So, yeah, the stuff cost about a dollar more for a 12 oz. roll than a 16 oz. roll of the regular stuff. But... if one didn't intend to eat it everyday... if one was only going to have it as a "treat" type thing, very occasionally, it would be okay to pay the extra, I think. And my man actually approved of it. Ate most of it, in fact. I had one slice on a whole wheat biscuit with a slice of 2% cheddar cheese. Thomas liked it too, so we were all happy, which is often not the case.

Scientists are sexy. Need proof? Have a look at Michio Kaku. The man is just sexy. Anyway, I think so. But I wouldn't think so, I don't think, if I hadn't seen him on TV, the BBC series on Time was fascinating: or if I hadn't read some of his books, Hyperspace, Parallel Worlds. Okay, I realize that those books are not every one's idea of an entertaining read, but I thought they were fantastic. I confess to a yearning to read his textbook, Strings, Conformal Fields, and M-Theory. But so much more has been discovered, so many more things learned, since the second edition of this book was published in the year 2000. I would hate to spend that much on a book and then have an updated edition published soon after. It shouldn't be long before they update this one, or he pens an entirely new one on the subject. I'll wait a little while longer and see.

Can't wait until tomorrow night. The History Channel has been advertising a new show for the last few weeks. Life After People. I know they are running it because of that Will Smith movie, I Am Legend. But that's okay cause I want to see that movie anyway. Can't wait for it to come out on DVD, or pay per view.

When I'm not watching political news, reading my fantasy/sci-fi books, crafting or cooking, I am watching the History Channel or the Science Channel, sometimes Discovery or National Geographic Channel. I have to say, NTGEO should just start calling themselves the Dog Channel. I swear! That's all they run anymore. Dog Whisperer, Dogs with Jobs, shows about dog evolution, shows about dog breeds, and now... they have a new show about dogs! A reality show about a dog rescue place. Dang! If I wanted to watch crap like that I would watch the Animal Planet. Good Grief! They need to get a grip. Was once one of my favorite channels but I hardly watch it anymore. In fact, I haven't watched it for days. Anyway...

I wanted to be an archaeologist when I was growing up. Or a lawyer and a politician. Secretly, I wanted to be the first female President of the United States. Then I became a teenager and I got side-tracked by friends, boys, having fun... why are some people so stupid when they are teenagers? It just isn't fair! Oh yeah, right... life isn't fair. Sometimes I forget that little nugget of truth.

My sugar was down a little today. Yesterday it was over 300. Today it was 270 before lunch, and 246 two hours after lunch. Today's after meal number was 101 less than than yesterday's after meal number. Maybe I can do this. I walked 3 times today. The first time I walked 15 minutes for .33 miles. The second time I walked 10 minutes for .26 miles. The third time I walked 20 minutes for .57 miles. I was going to try to walk for a fourth time, but just didn't have it in me. My back has been cramping and spasming all day long. I don't know why it's started doing that. I never was one for having back aches before. Oh well... stuff happens, eh?

Warning! Political Content ahead!

I was watching Hillary Clinton's speech in St. Louis, MO that she gave on Saturday, the 19th. You can find the relevant speech on c-span. The specific part I am referring to is about 15minutes 20 seconds into the speech. She was talking about how JFK united the country behind the challenge of going to the moon and back. And she was talking about how America needs to get united behind the challenge of energy independence. It was a super speech, regardless of the fact that she was hoarse and her voice was cracking and breaking.

Anyway... the point of this is that today, I was watching CNN while I was ironing Pete's work shirts and they played a bit of a speech that Rudy Giuliani gave at the The Villages in Florida this very morning, Sunday, the 20th. The following is the relevant portion of the transcript which can be found toward the bottom of the web page on CNN:

"We can have energy dependence in this country. If we have a president that is bold enough to lean down after it like Eisenhower and Kennedy and Johnson and Nixon led the effort to put a man on the moon. We can do it, as Americans. We have to achieve energy independence and we need a president that has had achievements like that."

I'm not saying that it wasn't an original idea from dear old Rudy... I'm just putting it out there for ya'll to see.

Oh My God! I just saw this! I have got to post the link for you guys. This is too, too funny!

Texas candidate alters photo in mailer

and that's really all I'm going to say tonight. I nearly forgot to pack hubby's lunch and breakfast and fix the coffee maker for tomorrow. I was so busy blogging and reading the Nagano-san fan site. That's enough shirking of my duties. See you guys later.

The Best of Both Worlds

Warning!
For those of you who are not as fascinated by politics as I am, please skip the first few paragraphs.

Today went something like this:

Mitt Romney won the GOP caucus in Nevada with 51%. Ron Paul came in a distant second with 13%, John McCain was third with 12%. My two favorite GOP candidates came in 2nd and 3rd. Distant 2nd & 3rd. Of course, Mitt Romney was the only major candidate who actually campaigned there. Ron Paul was the only other one who did. I think John McCain may have stumped out there over the summer, but he didn't once the caucus got close.

Hillary Clinton won a tight race in the Democratic caucus in Nevada. She got 51% of the vote to Barack Obama's 45%. John Edwards, who had been touting the fact that he was in a virtual 3 way tie in Nevada with the other two, got less than 4%. Some three way tie, huh?

Later in the day, the results of the GOP "first in the south" primary were announced. The vote was too close to call for quite a while. Finally, John McCain was declared the winner with 33% of the vote. Chucklebee, I mean Huckabee, got 30% of the vote. Good ol Fred Thompson came away with 16%, Romney with 15%. Ron Paul beat Giuliani and Duncan Hunter, again. Hunter promptly dropped out. Huckabee kissed McCain's ass up one side and down the other in his concession speech. He's such a sleaze, he makes my mind and my soul feel slimy. I'm convinced he'd be even worse than the 'evil chimp', and I never thought before that anyone could be that bad.

From the beginning of this process my thought has been that I wanted Huckabee or Thompson or Romney to win because I thought they would be the easiest Republicans for the Democrats to beat in the general election. However... for the past week or so, I've been rethinking my position. My opinion now is that the Republicans need to nominate the very best person for the job. Just like the Democrats need to do. It doesn't matter if it will be easy for the Democratic nominee to beat him. The only thing that matters is that both parties send the best person they have available to the general election.

And another reason I want the GOP to send their best, most competent person is because the Democrats are beginning to act just as stupid as they did the last two elections and I think there is a very real possiblity (oh woe is me!) that the Democrats will blow this one as well. They need to hold their fire until the general election. They need to get out in front of these conservative media, Repulican supported lies and erroneous, missleading stories that are already getting out there. But just like John Kerry's "swift boating" they are just sitting there doing nothing. I have not yet heard a one of the Democratic candidates out there disputing any of the lies, the missleading and outrageous statements that media members like Tucker Carleson, Joe Scarborough, most of the evil news puppets on Fox Noise, are putting out on the airwaves. It's frustrating.

I know their thought process is that they aren't going to "give credence" to the lies by acknowledging them. But with the stupid sheep in this country, that tactic doesn't work. Americans are no longer smart enough to understand something subtle. This generation of Springer watching, Limbaugh listening, Bush voting, drooling idiots don't get it. If you want them to believe that what someone says about you is a lie, you have to come out swinging. You have to get on the front page of the newspaper disputing it. You have to be the lead story on the evening news. And the more you shout, the more your face heats up, the more you wave your fists around, the more you are believed. I know, I know... it should be the other way around, but people are sadly unable to read real body language any more. I wonder how that happened? Well, the ability to think for ourselves has been all but bred out of us, no wonder we lost that ability, too.

Anyway, who the next President is, is a monumentally important decision in the life of our country. My opinion is that the very best person that the Republican's have available to them, the GOP candidate who can best lead the entire country, the only one who will actually represent all of us and not just the few who support him, is (drum roll, please) John McCain. I would have said Ron Paul, but I don't think he's got a snowball's chance in you-know-where to get the nomination.

Yesterday went something like this:

I got up early and took my pill. Then I had some coffee and took a shower and got ready for my follow-up diabetes class. I checked my sugar before breakfast and it was 300. Not good. I ate my breakfast (yuck, I hate eating that early) and went to class. Two hours after I ate, while I was in class, I checked my sugar again. It was 330. Worse. The class was enjoyable. The others were friendly and chatty. Nice. After class my diabetes coach came up and pulled me aside. She said that she wanted me to talk to my doctor about starting insulin. I don't want to. I think it's too soon for that. I've only been taking meds for it since October. I think we just don't have them quite right yet. I'm still not back to where I was before I got sick. As far as exercising goes, that is. I can only do 15 to 20 minutes at a time, yet. I managed to go 30 on Friday evening. But I was going so slow. I only went .81 miles. Before I got sick, I would have gone two miles in that amount of time. Or at least nearly two miles. Some days were always better than others. I'm sure if I can get more exercise, eat better, make sure I take my pills at the same time every day (which I don't always do cause I'm still not used to eating on a schedule yet) I can get my sugar down to acceptable levels without going on the insulin.

I really, really REALLY don't want to have to do that. The very thought is too scary for me. In my mind, insulin is what you do just before the diabetes kills you. I know in my head that it isn't that way anymore, but still... that's the way it always was when I was growing up. You heard that someone had diabetes. They started taking insulin. Parts started getting amputated. They died. Everybody said "How sad". End of story. I don't want to be that person they say "How sad" about.

So much for yesterday:

Today I walked for 15 minutes early. I went .46 miles. Then I walked another 15 minutes later. I got .45 miles. I didn't do any other exercises today. I was doing laundry nearly all day. Still didn't get the ironing done. Today was linens and towels day, as well as the usual. It made me tired. I stripped the beds and redid them. I gathered all the table runners, scarves, kitchen linens, etc. washed, ironed and replaced them all. What a chore. "We hates it, we hates it, we hates it forever!" I also flipped the mattresses today. Nearly knocked down the ceiling fan in our bedroom. Should have waked Pete up off the couch or pulled Thomas off his game to help me. It was really too heavy for me to do by myself. I just hate asking people for help. I'm too danged independant! I've always been the one who tried to do everything herself. I need to learn how to ask for help. I ain't getting any younger. One of these days I'm going to hurt myself thru being too stuborn.

Well, live and learn, right? I'm always after Pete for trying to do too much. I should listen to myself, eh? Like I'm always telling him, "I was right yesterday. I'm right today. And dammit if it don't look like I'm gonna be right again tomorrow! Get used to it." I should take my own advice.

Looks like any little chance for snow that we had has evaporated. Too bad, so sad. No snow for Holly. Maybe another time we'll get some. At least we didn't get any ice, either. That's a good thing.

By the way:

Has anyone noticed the theme-like way I titled my different modules on webjam? My son was amazed that his mother was that smart. (once I explained them all to him, that is).

Hey! Circular Firing Squads are OUR Specialty...

But the Republicans are doing a great job of imitating us. I think it's hilarious. The Grand Old Party looks disorganized, un-united, silly and downright... well... um... Democratic. No clear front-runner and no clear message that all Republicans can unite around. I don't think the Republican voters are happy with any of their choices. And who can blame them? When all the Democratic candidates are pretty much selling the same message of change, brave new world, and all that stuff; the Republicans all sound like re-runs of the same old commercials they've been running for my entire lifetime. Don't they get it, yet? Fewer and fewer people are worried about what their neighbors do in their own bedrooms and more and more are worried about how much money is left in their pockets after they've paid the bills. Many of us can't pay all the bills when they are due and still have money left over for food, never mind having enough money for a little entertainment every once in a while.
And forget about health care if you get sick! We have insurance but I just added up the receipts from the pharmacy for the 4th quarter of 2007. Between the two of us we spent just a few dollars less than $1,600.00 on prescriptions. That's only 3 months! If we hadn't had insurance we'd have been shit out of luck. And that's just the meds. That don't count all the co-pays for all the doctor visits and the out of pocket expenses for tests and procedures that the insurance wouldn't pay or only paid a small portion of. All that stuff tallied up to over $5,000.00 for the entire year! And that amount doesn't include the dental stuff that I had done, which I had insurance for, as well. And I still paid over $2,000.00 out of pocket expense for what I had done. If we hadn't had insurance, I would have never been able to find out that I was diabetic; Pete would have never found out he had prostate cancer. Not until it was too late to do anything about it.
So... the Republicans are in disarray. And I watched the news this morning where they were talking about how the GOP campaigns in South Carolina are getting so dirty. I didn't hear the term "Swift boating" but it sure sounded like what was happening. Ads, flyers, phone calls, accusing Romney of supporting polygamy and not being a Christian; the same accusing John McCain of not really being a war hero, of making it all up, of being a collaborator with the enemy, of being a Democrat in Republican clothing (if he really was, I'd consider voting for him, but he's not, he's a Republican and therefore will not be getting my vote, no way, no how); accusing Thompson of only staying in the race to draw votes away from Huckabee and thus help his friend John McCain; accusing Huckasleeze, I mean Huckabee, of being too Democratic (like that's a bad thing), of being too much of a "populist" (huh?). Anyway... they sure are acting a lot like the Democrats did in the last two elections.
Besides, like I said: their message is just too stale, too old, too 80's. They aren't connecting with the mainstream, modern Republicans. Sure, their old-school, old-fashioned, core supporters still care about abortion, gay rights (or insuring the lack thereof), God (their version of), and guns. But even many of them are concerned more about the economy and less about who is sleeping with whom.
I just think it's pretty funny.

A civil debate, or something...

Watched the Democratic debate last night, like you all knew I would. They didn't allow Kucinich a seat at the table. First the network said no, then he took them to court and the court said yes, then the network appealed to the supreme court of the State of Nevada and less than an hour before the start of the debate the supreme court said they didn't have to allow him on the stage. Saw him on C-Span today speaking in the US House of Representatives. He really is a good Rep. for his district. He looked quite dignified, actually.

Anyway, all the media types were salivating, I know, waiting for Hillary and Barack to get into it. I'm not sure if they thought they would see those two rolling around on the floor, pulling each other's hair and biting ears, or if they were just hoping they would get into a screaming match. Whichever it was, it didn't happen and the news folks kept on trying to make out like something did all day today. Saying things like, "Barack called out Hillary...", "Hillary picked a fight with Barack...". Honestly! The debate was so civil, so polite, so chummy chummy. In fact, it was so much like watching three people sitting around a kitchen table talking, that I honestly don't remember everything they said. I remember Hillary asking Barack to co-sponsor legislation with her to block Bush from making agreements with the Iraqi government without putting it before the congress first. I wasn't even aware that he thought he could do that. Apparently he thinks he can arbitrarily sign agreements with other governments that would be binding on subsequent Presidents. Just another example of how much he thinks he is King. I can't wait until he is gone, gone, gone. When he finally is, I am going to throw the loudest, most obnoxious party in Augusta, GA! I am going to get noise makers, horns, fireworks... I may even rent a kettle drum just for because.

Seriously, tho, Barack agreed to work with Hillary on that legislation and the entire debate was a nice, friendly chat between Hillary, Barack, and John Edwards. I just don't like him, but lots of folks do. They all three basically agreed on most everything, complimented each other, smiled at each other and talked about the real issues, which they all three seemed to be reading off the same page on. The craziest thing that happened took place after the debate. The candidates all shook hands, smiled at each other and then went to the edge of the stage to wave at and shake hands with the audience. For a half hour or better, Barack and Hillary walked back and forth at the edge of the stage shaking hands, and signing autographs. They looked like rock stars, really. I don't recall John Edwards doing that. Perhaps the camera just didn't show him, or maybe he split early, I don't know. But the other two sure looked like honest to God rock stars out there. I can't recall any other politician ever getting that kind of response from an audience. The scene was so surreal, I didn't at first understand what I was seeing. When I realized what they were doing, my jaw dropped.

So that's about all for that part of the evening. On to the Michigan primaries. The Democratic National Committee pulled all of Michigan's delegates because Michigan went against their ruling and had their primary before Super Tuesday. So, Obama and Edwards pulled their names from the ballot. Hillary did not. She got 55% of the vote, Uncommitted got 40% of the vote. Of course the Edwards and Obama supporters encouraged voters to go and vote Uncommitted. Apparently many did.

The Republican National Committee pulled only half their delegates for the same reason. So the Republicans turned out "in force" to vote for Romney, McCain, Huckabee, and not so "in force" for Paul, Thompson, and Giuliani. Romney won at 39%, McCain got 30%, Huckabee got 12% ( I think) and I don't remember what percentages the rest got. They were all in single digits. I just remember that Ron Paul got more votes than Thompson and Giuliani. I thought that was funny.

My point in bringing this up is that I don't think either party was right in what they did. They took away the voice of the Michigan voters. The Dems especially. That's wrong. And I strongly disagree with Obama and Edwards decision to take their names off the ballot. They both want to tout their ability to bring change and then they go and knuckle under to the Democratic National Committee. They are cow-towing to the "Powers that Be". How is that "change", I ask you?

Is anyone else but me extremely disturbed by Huckabee's comments about changing the Constitution? Here is the direct quote:

"I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."

And the people in the audience clapped and cheered! This man just keeps getting scarier and scarier. He sounds like a Christian version of the Taliban. Girls, if he gets elected you better run for the border or prepare yourselves to live like Muslim women. Don't forget, the organized Christian churches believe that women are supposed to be subservient to men, just like the Muslim faith does.

I have continued walking. This is my third day. Today I walked for 20 minutes and went .61 miles, a few hours later I did some exercises with the hand weights, only about 15 minutes worth. Then later on I walked for 10 minutes and went .3 miles. When I checked my sugar before dinner it was 201. Not bad, eh? Still have to wait another hour or so to check it again. Hope it isn't too high. Oooo! That reminds me, I didn't take my pill after I ate. Better go do that!

See you later.

If you're that dadgum stupid, lady...

Megachurch leader charged with perjury

I don't want to say you deserve what happened to you, but really! How could you stand to stand up in court and tell the whole frickin' world that you are that stupid and gullible? I'm just saying...

Obviously, I don't know any more of the details of the case than were in the article above, but seriously! You see why I call them "sheep"? Most of the people that go to those kinds of places are sheep. They can no more think for themselves and reason things out for themselves than a sheep can. Have any of them ever once bothered to read the actual, real Bible for themselves? I don't think so. And the sad part is I don't think any of them want to think for themselves. They just want to sit around all cow-eyed and let some yahoo who calls him or her self a preacher tell them what to do. How to live, who to love, who to hate, who to fear (most especially who to hate & fear), who to vote for, what to wear, what books to read, what books to not read, what places to vacation at, etc.

Anyway, I just saw that news article and it just struck a nerve.

I managed to walk for a whole 16 and a half minutes today and went just over a half mile (.55 miles). My sugar wasn't as good as yesterday after my walk, it was 248. I don't know what I did wrong. I took my meds properly and I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to... sometimes it's like that. I feel pretty good, tho, all things considered.

I didn't get any yard work done today. It was cold and windy. Windy enough to blow your wig off, if you know what I mean. I worked on my new blog. And I did make homemade tortillas, using corn flour and whole wheat flour. I didn't have any mesa harina, but I don't really like that anyway. I put a cup of regular corn flour in the food processor and whizzed it around until it was quite fine, then sifted it. The tortillas turned out tasty. A little too thick to roll into a burrito or fajita, more like a roti than a tortilla, actually. But I guess I should expect that. I have way more experience making roti than I do tortillas. I used the tortilla press, too, which I don't use much. I get better results when I roll them out with a rolling pin, but I wasn't real excited about doing all that at the time. They were just for eating with the beef stew anyway, and for that they were just fine. I used a couple to make Thomas fajita pizzas tho. He didn't want beef stew, it had parsnips and rutabagas in it with the potatoes and beef. I like root vegetables. I would use them more if Thomas didn't whine like a two year old about it.

Tomorrow is the last Democratic debate (until the next one) so Thomas and I will stay up and watch it and eat party food and snacky stuff and dissect what the candidates say and poke fun at them and stuff. Then I will come here and tell you guys what I thought of the whole thing. Kucinich is trying to get on the stage with the others and the network, NBC, is trying to keep him off. I don't think that's precisely fair, but guess what? Life ain't fair. In fact, life is more unfair than not. Life doesn't care about fair, life just is. It's for us to accept it as it is and keep on going. But on the other hand... having him there does provide a little much needed humor to the formalities. Besides, he does have a way of keeping them honest, not letting them stray too far away from the truth.

Think I will close for now and go read some on my book. After I check in at Bunny's, of course. Please feel free to check out my new blog, if you like cheese that is. The link can be found on this page right under the picture of my eyeballs, right where it says "My Other Blog".

Thats the best that I can do... today

As you all know, I've been diagnosed with diabetes. I found out when I went to the doctor because of excess tiredness and chest pains and that is what he found out. When I found out, my sugar was over 400. It now runs between 210 and 250, which is some improvement, but still not good. As a consequence of the tiredness and pain in my legs I haven't been walking like I was doing before. (if you've read any of my earlier posts, you will know that before the problems started I had worked myself up to walking between 3 and 3.5 miles a day) In fact, I haven't walked any in a month or more. So today, while I was waiting for my first load of laundry to wash, I thought, what the heck? Let me do a little walking on the treadmill. My goal was to do at least 15 minutes or half a mile, whichever came first. By the time I had walked for 5 minutes my legs felt like they wanted to fall off. By 10 minutes they were screaming at me to stop. So, the best I could do was 13 minutes and .4 miles. Today.

Tomorrow I will go farther, if it's only 13 minutes and 30 seconds or .41 miles. I will go farther. I refuse to be this fat, ugly, lazy, lump for the rest of my life. I was doing so good, too. I was getting fit, I was loosing weight, I was feeling better about my life and my self, I was gaining confidence. And now I have start all over. But I can do it. I know I can. I have to. I want to feel good again and have energy and be able to do the things I want to do.

At first I was sort of depressed at how bad I did today. But I'm not going to fall into that trap. I should be impressed that I was able to do as good as I did considering how I feel. I should be proud of myself. And I am, now, after I've had a little while to think about it. And I am baking bread today, so I got a good workout for my arms, too. Sourdough bread takes some kneading. I haven't done it in a while and I can already feel it in my forearms. They will be sore tomorrow, I'm sure. But the bread is always worth it.

Anyway, just needed to reaffirm that I am a worthwhile person and that I did good today. Everyone should feel free to encourage and/or congratulate me. A little soul butter would feel so good right about now.

Confessions of a Political Junkie

I can't help it. I'm addicted. I picked up the habit at my mother's knee. We didn't have anything else in common and did not agree on much, but we both loved politics. Reading about it, discussing it, arguing about it. Election times were when we had the most contact after I left home. When I was small she was a Democrat, but as she got older she became quite a fierce advocate of the Independent movement. She was a staunch supporter of Ross Perot, organizing for him, campaigning for him, annoying her friends and family about him. I remember the election of 1992 quite clearly. In the early going I was a Paul Tsongas supporter and my mom would get so mad because I would not, could not support Ross Perot. She would keep telling me that Perot was a smart man and he knew what needed doing to get the country "back on track" (Funny how that phrase seems to come up during every election, huh?). We would get together and watch the debates and the campaign speeches and the news and all that stuff and she would get all glassy eyed and so intent when Perot was speaking. She would shake her finger and say, "listen, listen! Just listen to what he's saying!" she was a total convert. But I would say, "yes mother, he states the problems quite clearly but he hasn't said yet what his plans are to fix the problems. He knows what is wrong but he hasn't said how he is going to make things right." and he never did. He was quite good at talking about what was wrong in America and he stated the problems that average Americans were going thru at the time. But not once in all the debates, TV programs, ads, stump speeches, etc. did the man ever state clearly what he was actually going to do about anything. I would ask my mom what his position was on any policy and she would spout his words back at me but she never could answer my simple question: "What is he going to do about it?"

Anyway, Tsongas and Perot both dropped out of the race and we both became Bill Clinton supporters. It was sort of funny that we started the campaign season about as far apart as two political junkies could get and neither of us be Republican, and we both ended up supporting the same candidate. She was fun to go to a rally with; very enthusiastic. When she decided to get behind something she did it whole-heartedly. I miss not being able to share this particular campaign season with her. She would have loved the idea of Hillary Clinton running (any woman, really) for President of the United States of America. We could have had a grand ol time dissecting, analyzing, discussing and fussing over the candidates and the issues. I'm so sad that she didn't live long enough to see a woman run a real, viable campaign. My mom was an original. She was a single mom in the late 60's, early 70's who didn't get child support from her alcoholic, sorry ex-husband; who worked two and sometimes 3 jobs to get by, working the same job as men for half the pay. She drove cars hauled out of the junk yard that my teenage uncles would help her fix, just so she could get to the grocery store and back. (she thumbed rides to her jobs because the car was too unreliable) Ever see anyone use the outside of a wire brush roller to fix a collapsed radiator hose on a Buick?, I have. The exhaust pipe was hanging on with a wire clothes hanger and since it was all rusty when they hauled it out of the junk yard, they took a hood and two doors from another Buick in the junk yard and swapped them out. The car was white and the hood and two doors were red. The doors didn't always close right and I almost fell out one day when mom was turning a corner. Scary.

Mom would have been over the moon to support Hillary. She was always happy to speak up about women's rights. Some would say she was down right militant about it, but knowing her life as I do, I can see why. I am sometimes militant about it myself, even if we have "come a long way, Baby". We still haven't come far enough. So... anyway, the point is this: I love politics, I love talking about it, discussing it, listening to it on the TV. I'm a political junkie. I'm addicted and I've got it bad. I don't know what I'll do when this cycle is over. It sure has been exciting. I would have loved to share this past year and the year to come with Mom. She would have loved to share it with me, too, I know. I know she is out there, somewhere, watching, but knowing that doesn't cut the mustard. I can't hear her, see her, watch her excitement. It sucks, actually, when I let myself think about it. At least Thomas is getting to be nearly as bad as I am about it. Mom would have loved that, too.

I Wonder If Nagano-san Likes Hot Cocoa...

... it was just one of those weird thoughts. I like it. Not the store-bought "instant", "hot chocolate" variety, but real, home-made from quality bitter cocoa, hot cocoa. I like mine a lot less sweet than most folks do, but then, I'm not real keen on many sweet drinks. I even take my coffee with just a little cream, no sugar; and my tea is always unsweetened. Sweet tea just turns my stomach. Hubby says that's how you can tell I'm not a true, proper Southern girl (which I am, a true one, leastwise). That's okay, if being a proper Southerner means drinking that syrup he likes, I'll just not be proper. Wait a minute, back up a little, I've never been accused of being proper anyway. Oh well, nothing to worry about then, I can just keep on drinking my unsweetened iced tea and enjoy it.

Back to Nagano-san: I know that was maybe a strange question to ponder, but I do that sometimes. Ya'll know I love to cook but more than that, I love to feed people. Nourishing people with good food is nourishing to my soul. I love to watch people visibly enjoy a meal I've prepared for them. It's a very satisfying experience for me. So I was wondering the other day, what kind of meal would I prepare for Nagano-san if I ever had the chance? Sorry, I relate to people with food. Like the late, great Benny Parsons. I just loved that guy. Although I always knew I would never meet him, I always wanted to fix a meal for the man. I always fantasized about serving him a big plate of fried chicken, biscuits and gravy, corn on the cob, and cherry pie. I don't know why. I guess because of little things he would say on air. Technically he was not a Southern boy, he was born in Michigan, but because of his career, he was practically a Southern boy. I think he would have enjoyed my fried chicken. I don't make it much any more since it isn't very good for you and all of us need to limit our fat intake, but I make killer fried chicken. The best. I guess I learned how to make it right because it's always been my most favorite thing to eat in the world. I say I make killer fried chicken, but mine isn't that great compared to my Granny's. But that's the way it's supposed to be, I guess. That women could have fried mud pies and made them taste good. She was the very best at frying foods. She had a knack for it.

Anyway... so I've been wondering what meal I would serve to Nagano-san, if I could, and I just can't decide. For some reason when I think of him and food, I think of blueberries. Blueberries and salads with bitter greens and a sweet-tart dressing. For whatever reason, I can't imagine what type of meat I would feed him. Beef, I think. But I'm not that good with beef. I do better with pork and most any type of fowl than I do with beef. I make a really good pot roast, but I don't see pot roast when I look at Nagano-san. Perhaps no meat at all. Maybe lentils with fresh herbs and grilled veggies? Fruit for dessert? Pineapple and strawberries and honeydew melon? Fresh fruits with the "Fluffy Stuff" on the side? The fluffy stuff is one 8 oz. block of cream cheese, 1/2 pint of whipping cream, a couple of drips of vanilla extract and one of almond extract, sugar to taste. First you whip the cream until it's very stiff, then in a separate bowl you beat the cream cheese until it's smooth, then add the extracts and the sugar and continue beating until the sugar is dissolved (I use only 1/4 to 1/3 cup of sugar when I make it, but you can use more if you like). Fold in the whipped cream and viola! A little taste of heaven to dip your fresh fruit in, or top your strawberry shortcake with. No, you can't eat it all the time, but it is quite yummy for an occasional treat. So... what do you think of my Nagano-san menu? Does it sound nice? Does it sound cobbled together? I mean, does it sound like the items would go together well? I just don't see heavy foods when I look at him. I see healthy, nourishing, light yet satisfying foods when I look at him.

On a more somber note: I stopped by Konpira's site one last time today. It was so sad. Like an empty house. I am so happy that Bunny came to our rescue and set up a site for us. I felt so much relief and happiness when she did that and everyone started moving over. But still, to look at that nearly blank page that is left at the old site... it just touched me. That's where I made all these wonderful new friends, found inspiration, companionship, understanding, humor, support, so many good things. Too many to list. It was there that I first came out of "my shell" so to speak and re-learned how to talk to people (type to people anyway), how to be a part of a community again. I was like a little child starting kindergarten. I guess now I'm moving up a grade, eh? Growing, changing, learning new stuff... it's good, very good. I won't go back and look at the old webjam again, its just too depressing. And why should I be depressed? We're still all together, thanks to Bunnyboo. She gets the "Knight In Shining Armor" award for sure.

Oh, did I tell you guys about the new Oriental Market that just opened up in my neighborhood? Thomas and I went to check it out a week or so ago. It's fantastic! They have so much stuff in there. Chinese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, Japanese... stuff I'd never seen before, stuff that used to be a "staple" in my house until we moved here and I could only get it on-line, stuff I'd heard about but never tried. I didn't buy anything cause that's not what I was shopping for that particular day, but we just wanted to go in and see what they had. And they had lots. Now I just need to go down the other way and visit the Japanese market that opened up. I don't go that way often, but it's not far out of the way, only about a mile and a half from my house. It's way cool, I think, that little ole Martinez, GA is getting ethnic markets. I've missed shopping that way ever since I moved from central Florida. I will make a habit of shopping at them and recommend them to everyone because I want them to stay in business.

That's about it for tonight, my friends. I'm starting to get sleepy now. See you all tomorrow.
hh

Cynical? You betcha!

So... Rudy had to move his appearance to a different venue down the street from the original site. Why? Some nebulous "security threat" that has not yet been explained to any one's satisfaction. Doesn't it seem a little suspicious that the guy who's running on only one thing, 9/11 and terrorism, should have a "security threat" to one of his campaign appearances? It does to me, but then... I'm just suspicious like that.

And Romney has pulled his adds from South Carolina. I think if he doesn't win in Michigan, his home state, he may well pull out. Then again, perhaps not. Maybe that is just wishful thinking on my part. Of course, I don't like Huckabee any better than I do Mitt. They both scare hell out of me. So does Rudy. Thompson doesn't scare me, I just think he's not particularly interested in the job and won't do a good one.

Anyway, Pete is on his way here to get me. I'm going to watch him get radiated. Will be back later to bitch and complain some more.

See ya!
hh

SHE WON!!! SHE WON!!!

Thank you Nagano-san, you have made a difference in the lives of so many.

(That's all I'm going to say on that subject. With the sinus trouble I've had for the past week, I don't need to be crying.)

I sort of watched the coverage of the Iowa caucus. I have to confess that I don't really remember much of it. I had a bad prescription drug reaction that evening. When you couple that with my sugar being too high for too long and harsh words with my husband (who didn't at all understand what was going on and how bad off I was)... why, by the time I was done with crying and trying to kill myself, the night was nearly over. I can joke about it now, but while it was happening it wasn't funny in the least. I kissed my son and hugged him, told him I loved him and walked off down the street. I still don't know if I would have actually taken that last step, if Pete hadn't come after me, but it was in my mind that there was absolutely nothing to live for. I felt such pain and confusion... It was awful. I hope to never go thru that again.

Now, before you all start to think I'm a real flake...

SHE WON!!! SHE WON!!! WOO HOO! YIPPEE! HURRAH! Billary, I mean, Hillary Clinton is the projected winner of the New Hampshire primary! I'm so happy. Jeez, I must really be a Clinton supporter in my heart, eh? I mean, I like Obama. I like his wife, she's really smart, nearly as good on the stump as her husband. I was planning to blog about my impressions of all the candidates, and I might still do that, but this is HUGE! Every pundit, every media personality in the world has been talking all day about how Obama had this all sewn up. That Hillary had to win New Hampshire or she was out of it and that Obama was polling so high that she couldn't win, so it was all over for her already. And now she's won! She's won! She's won! (yes, I am doing a classic Saturday Night Live/Dana Carvey/Church Lady 'Superior' dance in honor of her victory) Who knew I felt that strongly about Hillary Clinton? Oh foo-ey! You guys probably really think I'm a flake now, eh?

As I was saying... I was going to give a big dissertation on all the remaining candidates. I had planned to say something about how if you thought you didn't like Barrack Obama and you were certain that you wouldn't vote for him, you'd better not watch his stump speech. He is very good on the stump, very inspiring. And his wife is too. She's so personable, smart, witty, cute, a 'real' person. She seems more like a regular person you can relate to than he does. His personality is just too large for me to get my mind around. I can't explain it any better than that. He speaks in such large, grandiose terms. He does embody hope, encouragement, confidence. But, perhaps as his wife says, I am too cynical to believe. Anyway... I know I've said it before on this blog but I'm always leery of following the herd. So many times the herd ends up stampeding off a very high cliff. I like Obama, as I've said, but I'm not jumping off a cliff for anyone for any reason (at least as long as I don't get ahold of any bad drugs). After having listened to him more closely I'm more likely to be able to support him whole-heartedly if he gets the nomination, but I was already pretty sure of that.

I'm still not quite sure if Hillary will do the job she knows she has to do, or will she break the other way just because she doesn't want to do what everyone says Bill would do in any given situation; will she do something wrong just because Bill advises her to do one thing and she wants to prove she can do things her own way. Know what I mean?

Anyway... after all this soul searching, debate watching, researching of the candidates, I've finally reached a conclusion. When the primary comes I am going to go into my polling place, proudly ask for a Democratic ballot and I'm going to vote for Hillary Clinton. Not because I'm sure she can or will do the job. Not because she's Bill Clinton's wife. Not because I think she's the best candidate, yadda yadda yadda... I'm going to vote for Hillary Clinton because she is a woman. It's that simple. Perhaps that's being shallow, or silly or whatever, but when it comes right down to it, what's to stop me? Can she do a worse job than that chimp-face we've got right now? Puh-leeze. Kucinich could do a better job than him. Hell, Gravel might be able to do a better job than Mr. Walks-like-a-baby-with-a-full-diaper.

So that's the long and the short of it. I didn't come to this conclusion until just now, but that's what I'm going to do. Who knows when or if I will get another opportunity to vote for a woman for President? A woman who is a bonafide, certified viable candidate for President, anyway.

All I'm going to say about the Repugnicants tonight is this: have they even talked to a real person lately?! I watched them on the ABC debate after Iowa, and they just sounded like the same old debates they've been having for all of my life. They didn't sound excited, they didn't sound hopeful. They sounded blah, ho-hum, dull... and they look so plastic. (See my previous post on evil news puppets.) That Willard "Mitt" Romney is so plastic, I bet he'd melt if he stood too close to the heater vent. I like John McCain, I respect him, but... he's 71 years old! No, no, no! I don't mean it like that! You all know my husband is 25 years older than me. It's just that, this is the office of President! It's too risky, too chancy that we will be stuck with whomever he chooses as his running mate then we'll have a President that we didn't actually elect. Who (besides me) ever stops to think whether or not the person our candidate chooses for a running mate is a person we would vote for for the office? John McCain is just too risky because of his age. Sorry, but there it is. That's how I feel. The job is just too important. Besides, I just will not vote for a Republican for any major elected office ever again in this lifetime. I won't, won't, won't! Never say never, but still... I just don't see myself ever doing it, and that's just because of the job that evil monkey has done over the last 7 years.

Well, it's late and I'm tired and sleepy, so I'll say G'nite for now. Perhaps I will break down my opinion of the rest of the candidates tomorrow. Perhaps, perhaps not. My sister-in-law told Pete while he was in Las Cruces that she wants to come for a visit next month. I'm delighted. I love Sara. She's a wonderful person, but... she has a professional maid who comes and cleans her house twice a week. I don't have a maid, professional or otherwise, and I hate cleaning house. My house isn't filthy, but it's packed to the rafters with stuff. I have dust-bunnies under my bed and behind the couch, etc., etc. And I don't want to feel embarrassed. So Thomas and I will begin some intensive house cleaning. Pete's friend Lee is also talking about coming for a visit. Again, I'm delighted. I like Lee, and even if I didn't, he's Pete's oldest friend, how could I not make him welcome?

So... nite, nite, sleep tight, Everybody,
hh