My head hurts, my legs hurt, my sugar won't go down... I want food that tastes good. Food that I didn't have to cook myself. I hate this crap! I hate feeling bad. It makes me cranky and bitchy. I don't even want to be around myself, I can't imagine I'm very good company for any one else. I feel real snarky and snarly. I feel real uncomfortable and like I'm maybe looking for someone to be rude to. I'm not that person. I don't like hurting other people's feelings. I'm non-confrontational in the extreme, but there it is... sometimes I'm just a bitch.
In other news, I called and got an appointment with Dr. Hogue for Tuesday, the 11th. I hope he will adjust my meds or something. I don't, don't, don't want to have to give myself shots of insulin, but I talked to my sister-in-law about it yesterday. She said there wasn't anything to it. She had to do insulin a couple of years ago before she went in for surgery, when they couldn't get her sugar down below 200. She said you can't even feel the shot. But still... the thought of it gives me the creeps. I can't stand the thought of it. I don't know if I could do that. Stick a needle in my stomach, I mean. I can't stand needles. I never watch when I have to get a shot or get blood work or anything like that. Okay, so I'm a sissy. Well... I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam...
Was watching VH1 Classics the other night and they were showing a composite of Marvin Gaye live performances. Wow! I always liked him, but dang! Sometimes you can forget after an artist has been gone for a while, what a wonderful career they had. He had such a marvelous voice. Like an angel, when it suited him to sound like one. And other times he could sound like a down and dirty soul man... no telling what wonders he could have performed if he hadn't been killed. Boggles the mind, really.
So... nothing really happening today. Just waiting around for Pete to get home from work and wondering what I'm gonna fix for supper. Everything just tastes the same anymore. Doesn't seem to matter what spices I use, what ethnic style I cook in, it's all the same. Food is not enjoyable to me at the present time. I can't stand eating on a schedule. Counting all the carbs, sugars, calories, etc. Having diabetes sure takes all the fun out of it. Sucks, sucks, sucks... and I feel a little 2 year old temper tantrum coming on. I want to jump up and down and stomp my feet and throw things. I want someone to come and kiss the booboo and make it all better and it ain't gonna happen and I hate knowing that. I hate knowing that this is how I'm going to be for the rest of my life. It ain't ever going away.
Okay, that's enough self-pity for one day. I'm gonna quit now. See you guys later.