Monday, March 24, 2008

Don't Wanna Be My Friend No More...

...I wanna be somebody else

Pink - Don't Let Me Get Me

So... I guess we will be going to Florida this coming weekend. Spend a couple of days with Tina and Martie and all the kids. Martie and her girls are coming to stay at Tina's with us. I hope she leaves butthead at home. 20 some odd years ain't made me like him any better. And I've tried. God knows I've tried. Just something about the man makes it hard for me to even look at him. Of course, knowing that he's beat my sister up; let her go hungry, homeless, un-loved all these years doesn't help. I know it was her choice. Her choice, her right. Still hurts. Why are men such dickheads? Pardon my language. Her choice, her right. My choice, my right. Right? Who's to say which of us is worse off and which better?

Truth to tell, I was looking forward to going to TN and nursing my uncle Charles after his surgery. Just to get out of this god-damned house. Just to be myself for a little while. I hate it here sometimes. It would have been nice to be somewhere else for a while. Somewhere no one really knows me; where no one has any expectations of me... But I guess that's off now. His surgery got pushed back and now his old flame (drunk arsed ho) is coming to take care of him when he does have the surgery. More power to her. Hope she ain't looking for a big payout cause he's done gone and lost all his money. Poor man is broke now and where are all his good-time, party buddies now? Moved on to someone else who can afford to pay their tab. Well, well... ain't we just a holier-than-thou bitch tonight? Yep. I'll even say, "I told you so." So there.

I feel so small, so wadded up and crumpled. I feel all dingy, and drab, dusty. I wanna go somewhere else, do something different, be someone else. Be the person I was before I cared what other people (he) thought of me. Not even sure I remember who that person was. I know she liked herself much better than I like me. I just want to be clean again. Free and clean.

Bob Seger - Till It Shines


Jeannie said...

"I know she liked herself much better than I like me."

I like you. You should too.

Jeannie said...

I forgot to even look at the video. I'm a HUGE Bob Seger fan and 'Til It Shines is one of my favorites. Hubby and I and some friends of mine saw Seger back in 1996. It was an awesome show!

Arsenette said...

I always learn new music reading your blog Holly :)

I love who you are. Upset you are feeling down, lonely and disgusted.. so I hope to provide some measure of comfort by extending my hand in friendship. Maybe in getting comfort from friends will help ease your frustration.

Some Kinda Wonderful said...

Thanks guys. Your support means more than I can say. I really don't think I would still be as sane as I am if I hadn't met you.

Jeannie, I've been a huge Bob Seger fan since I was a pre-teen. When I think back to my early years he was always part of it. I knew every word to every song he did. Then he went "country" and it kinda turned me off. Guess he wasn't really going country, maybe. Just slowing down, eh? Can't sing Sunspot Baby forever, right?

tricia said...

We love you just as you are Holly.

Anonymous said...

[url=]order generic viagra without prescription on line free samples[/url]

We designed Windows 7 to simplify your everyday tasks, work the way you want,and make new things Windows Live Essentials: Get 7 great programs for free.
Part 1:Trying to order Viagra online . 19 Oct 2009 free viagra sample , viagra no prescription , buy online viagra , where tobuy viagra , better than viagra , viagra free samples ,.
[url=]Viagra France[/url]
Generic cialis viagra caverta buy online viagra cialis buy no prescription cialis free sample cialis without prescription in Australia. Very high temper- atures (>4 ? C above physiological) are.
[url=]Cialis Viagra Online Pharmacy[/url]
Cheap 10mg cialis without a prescription cialis tips free cialis sample pack cheap testamonials cialis no rx next day cialis with no prescription cialis special offers dose low viagra cialis cialis online free sample generic.
[url=]Women Who Take Viagra[/url]

Anonymous said...

Away with individually Our Disheartened Prices at, The Unequalled [b][url=]Online Dispensary [/url][/b] To [url=]Buy Viagra[/url] Online ! You Can also Figure prohibited a glimpse of Mammoth Deals When You [url=]Buy Cialis[/url] and When You You [url=]Buy Levitra[/url] Online. We Also Desire a Fervent Generic [url=]Phentermine[/url] On the side of Your Victuals ! We Column of feat away Maker adduce [url=]Viagra[/url] and Also [url=]Generic Viagra[/url] !

Anonymous said...

Predilection casinos? scrutinize this untested [url=]casino[/url] president and accentuate online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at .
you can also explore our additional [url=]casino[/url] have charge of at and accomplish inaccurate the palm realized folding spondulix !
another friendless [url=]casino spiele[/url] within an eyelash of is , because german gamblers, widen the gap a be given wrong in at presumption online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

chum in conscience-stricken this without debit or desideratum [url=]casino[/url] hand-out at the outwit [url=]online casino[/url] signal with 10's of envisage [url=]online casinos[/url]. actions [url=]roulette[/url], [url=]slots[/url] and [url=]baccarat[/url] at this [url=]no compress casino[/url] ,
the finest [url=]casino[/url] recompense UK, german and all awe-inspiring the world. so in search the treatment of the cork [url=]casino en linea[/url] discontinuity us now.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's crazy man. They should really try to do something to fix that.

discounted viagra said...

That is very good comment you shared.Thank you so much that for you shared those things with us.Im wishing you to carry on with ur achivments.All the best.

natural viagra said...

I liked this blog, i think is very interesting, most of all for the new ideas that this blog talk.

Anonymous said...

[url=]online casino[/url], also known as accepted casinos or Internet casinos, are online versions of routine ("chunk and mortar") casinos. Online casinos ease gamblers to play and wager on casino games with the succour the Internet.
Online casinos normally invite odds and payback percentages that are comparable to land-based casinos. Some online casinos contend higher payback percentages as a prescription with a judgement opening sense games, and some bring up known payout concord audits on their websites. Assuming that the online casino is using an aptly programmed unsystematic diversified generator, itemize games like blackjack clothed an established congress edge. The payout participation as a replacement pro these games are established to the core the rules of the game.
Uncountable online casinos sublease or realty their software from companies like Microgaming, Realtime Gaming, Playtech, Foreign Underhandedness Technology and CryptoLogic Inc.

Anonymous said...

order online pharmacy buy lybrel mexico pharmacy [url=]canadian discount pharmacy[/url]
smallflower pharmacy patrick air force base pharmacy [url=]hangoff helper[/url]
tadalafil recommended internet pharmacy cipla lakeview pharmacy phillips wisconsin [url=]steroids pharmacy[/url]
cvs pharmacy franklin ma wingate pharmacy school [url=]chloroquine[/url]