Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A voice from the past

What a weird thing to happen to me today. I was on the phone talking to Pete around 1pm today and another call came thru. The caller ID said it was a 478 number and I didn't recognize it so I just ignored it and didn't answer. Then after I got off the phone with Pete, out of curiosity I looked the number up. Switchboard couldn't give me a name but said it was a Macon, GA number. Well, my step-dad lives in Macon so I called the number to see if it was him or his girlfriend. Low and behold! It was him. I haven't spoken to him in nearly two years. We saw him quite frequently right after my mom passed away and then he got himself a girlfriend (which I was happy about, he was too young to sit over there missing Mama and not doing anything else) and he quit coming around and then quit calling. We went like 4 years without hearing from him and then his little sister told him when I was so sick back in 2004 and in the hospital and he called then to check on me. And then about two years ago we got together in Macon so he could give me some of Mama's old pictures (which didn't belong to him anyway, not morally.) Anyway... it was a strange conversation. I don't know how I feel about him. I mean, they were married for over 20 years before Mom died. He's just about the only thing that even comes close to being a "father figure" to me. But he's so weird. I've never understood him. I'm angry with him for not being a grandfather to Thomas. I mean, he was so close to Thomas when Mom was alive. He was a regular grandpa, then he decided he didn't want to have a family anymore and just disappeared. It hurt Thomas back then. He was only 6-7 years old at the time. He didn't understand and I couldn't explain it to him. I never understood it myself. All Thomas knew was that he'd lost his grandmother and then all of a sudden his grandpa didn't love him anymore or want to be around him anymore. That made me really mad. And he kept all of mom's family heirlooms. Stuff from her side of the family that he had no right to keep. He threw away all her books and stuff rather than let me have them. I don't know why. All the kitchen stuff, antiques, jewelry. Stuff that he knew mom wanted me to have. I hate to sound greedy, but he KNEW what Mom wanted done with her stuff and he didn't do it! That pisses me off. Mom trusted him and he let her down. But I still love him. I worry about him. I want him to be happy. I just want my mother's stuff and then he can go his merry way for all I care. There are things that I know Mom wanted the girls to have. Wanted Martie to have. Wanted Tina and Martha and her brothers to have. And he didn't do it. He didn't keep his promise to Mom and that hurts.

So... it was a strange phone call. I still don't quite know what he wanted even tho we spoke for half an hour. Who knows??? Certainly not I. Maybe he will call again one of these years and I can ask him.


pamwax said...

I am so sorry you didn't get your Mother's things. It is sad how people change when death happens and there is jewelry and such to take care of. Neil's Mother made a detailed list of who was to get what, gave his 1 sister just what she asked for and still she is unhappy she didn't get everything.

I am hoping to live long enough to see Katie get my jewelry when I want her to have it.

Jeannie said...

I sometimes think it is better for a person to be out of someone's life completely, than just to be a part-time family member that only participates when he or she wishes.

Now that Thomas is older, does he understand that your stepfather's decisions have nothing to do with him?

Your son sounds like such a sweet young man. Thank goodness for his mother!