I think I forgot to finish the story of how I grew up. I ran out of steam on it, I guess. I don't have the emotional energy to do anything on it today, either. It's hard, I hate remembering that crap. It hurts. I've heard it can be good therapy, me? I'd rather just take a pill and forget it, right now. Hearing from my step-dad the other day didn't help any either. Just brought up stuff that's better left dead and buried.
Pete told Dr. Hogue that I haven't been to see that shrink that he referred me to after that little "episode" I had when I messed up my pills. I know what was wrong with me then. I don't need to talk to a stranger about my problems. Dr. Hogue seems to think I do. I don't see what the big deal is. Doesn't everyone have feelings of inadequacy, sometimes? Doesn't everyone feel afraid or stupid or incompetent on occasion? Doesn't every one feel a little suicidal every once in a while? That's life. You deal with it and move on, right?
So... here's some more "hunky" guys. These guys are pretty note worthy I think.
The first is Colin Farrell, a beautiful, Irish "tough guy" actor. I like him. He's just like a regular guy. A macho regular guy, but regular nevertheless. I think he'd be a great person to just hang out with, have a few drinks, get a buzz on. He strikes me as the kind of guy who gets funny when he's buzzed. He also strikes me as the kind of guy with plenty of stamina.
His movies tend to be a bit too gory or too tense for me, but in the interviews I've seen him in, he seems interesting, like he has a good sense of humor. I saw him in that Alexander movie, too. The man is just fine. Mind you, I'm not saying I'd like to be "bests friends" with him, but a night out? Sure. I could do that.
Number two for tonight is Josh Bernstein, ex-host of Digging for the Truth on the History Channel. That was a great show. Until Josh quit hosting and they got that "Semper Fi" gung-ho guy to host. I just didn't like him. And besides, he didn't strike me as the kind that really knew what he was talking about. And the show became less about the science and the history and more about snakes and death and human sacrifice and stuff. Like history for the Jerry Springer set. Stupid. Josh is smart. But he doesn't talk down to you. Thank God he's got stuff in the works for Discovery Channel. I have hopes that he'll be back on TV soon. I miss him. He's very handsome, but in a sort of "boy next door" way. That is if the boy next door was an archaeologist and a survival expert/trainer, and spoke about fifty different languages (a complete exaggeration, but you get the point, right?). And oh yeah, if the house next door that said boy lived in was a yurt. Anyway... I admire this guy, and I think he's sexy as hell. I'd like to meet him, talk to him, go exploring with him... The dude lives in a freaking yurt, for God's sake! How can you not be impressed with that???
So... been watching the news a bit. This whole brouhaha about McCain is just stupid. And the one about Obama is stupider (yes, I'm aware that isn't a word, but it describes the situation perfectly). And the media just keeps trying to stir a stink and the odor just isn't there. They keep trying to report on this election cycle like they've reported on the last ones for forever. And it just ain't happening. There is no there there, to use one of Olbermann's favorite quotes. They keep wanting to turn it into a Springer show and there aren't any in-bred, trailer trash, who's my baby's Daddy, hoochie mommas to throw into the ring. I know, I know, sex sells, the truth doesn't.
... "one pill makes you larger. And one pill makes you small. And the ones that Mother gives you don't do anything at all. Go ask Alice..." something... I don't remember what.
Think I'll go ask her if I can have the one that makes me go to sleep. See you guys later.