Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Oh Puh-leeze!!! There is no way in hell....

... that any man is ever going to do any of this. Not with a straight face, and certainly not for more than 10 seconds. Who does this crazy guy think he's foolin'? He had to be laughing like a monkey the whole time he sat bashing away at his keyboard writing this article. Guys, really, is this some sort of "male humor" thing? Tell me please cause I can't on any day, for any reason, see my husband doing any of this crap (except cooking a meal and I hate it when he does that). And if he did I would be wondering what really awful thing he had done or was thinking about doing. Or whether or not he was fixing to divorce me. Ladies, am I right? Any woman would drop dead on the instant if her man voluntarily began to massage her feet, or actually handed her the remote. And further more and on top of that: from number 1 "Make it look like you want to do it." ??? How, pray tell, does this yahoo think a man is going to do that? He sure doesn't give any pointers on how they are to manage that part, now does he? I'm sorry, but this article is just a load of crap. If men could do any of those things with smile on their face... no one would be having to write a stupid article telling them to do it!!!
Besides... this article is sorta creepy on a whole other level. It's like Cosmo for men. I'm shuddering. I don't want a man who reads man Cosmo. That's just wrong. I don't want a man who butts in on my shtick, takes over my job, horns in on my turf. Being touchy feely is my job. The woman's job. I'm the one who is supposed to send a little note telling him how wonderful he was last night, or making him dinner (my man butts into my kitchen too often as it is), or driving him to the airport or watching a show or a sporting event with him. I would not want to have to have him nosing in on what I'm watching or doing or whatever. That's just not cool. In a relationship men and women have things they are equally responsible for, things that the woman is responsible for, and things that the man is responsible for. I have no intention of messing in his business and I certainly don't want him messing in mine. As far as I'm concerned,that's the way to keep a relationship running smoothly and happily. Let him stick to his territory and me to mine and we'll meet in the middle as it should be.
Thing is, I think we should each learn to accept our position and responsibilities in a relationship and just deal with it. If you aren't happy with what you are doing, then you need to really take stock of your situation and figure out if you need to go on down the road or if you just want to accept it. Sometimes going on down the road is the right thing to do. Sometimes staying and accepting is the right thing. Only you can make that decision. But each person should be able to feel safe in their "place". Your partner should not be trying to take over your position, your responsibilities. And you shouldn't be trying to take over theirs. It's better if each person knows without question where they are supposed to be, what they are supposed to be doing, what their job is in the relationship. That's what leads to a more harmonious union. I think.

Simply Red ~ If You Don't Know Me By Now


Jeannie said...

Hubby has done numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, 12 and 15. I can't say that he's done them often or regularly, but he has done them solely because he wished to. I try to do the same for him- little things like cutting his toenails for the past 15 years (EWWWW- TOO MUCH INFO!!).

My opinion as to what makes a relationship work is if both people in the relationship agree on how things should be done. Mutual understanding is key. :D

Some Kinda Wonderful said...

Well, okay, technically hubby has done no. 2, but only for his pleasure, he could care less if I like what he cooks. He does no. 3, because he likes scented candles and incense, not because I do. He did do no. 7 a couple of times cause he was mad at my bitchin' and it was so weird. I couldn't watch what I wanted to cause he kept complaining the whole time about my choices. He had done no. 9 when I was away from home and he had to. We have done no. 11 but that was many years ago when I was much younger. He does do no. 15 if I don't call him. So, I guess I should have been more fair in my rant, eh? But really, he hasn't ever done any of those things as a sign of how much he "cares" for me. If and when he does ever do those things its because he wants to, not because he thinks I would like it.

Jeannie said...

Men (yes, women too) express their care and love in many different ways. Some men are good with words, some good with actions. Some men are not good at either, but the feelings are still there.

Arsenette said...

Jeannie I feel better.. because hubby does do .. okay going back to the list.. Tried 1 but I was laughing too hard.. I'm too dang ticklish.., 2 (he cooks more than I do these days..), 3, (we don't have 2 cell phones), 5 (he calls me though) but he did send a card once, 6 (I don't drive so he's s.o.l. and this only happened once), 7 (I have control of the remote LOL), 8 (he washes clothes :p ), 9 (he cleans the bathroom.. cleaners make me sick.., 10 (we go in giggling fits though so we rarely do it together), 11 (erm.. uh.. I enjoy this :D ), 12 (ditto :), 13 (ditto again), 14 (does this on occasion.. though we both find it weird sometimes when we do LOL), 15 (I panic if he doesn't call me.. I'm so used to him calling me).

As for writing it like Cosmo for men.. yes. it is creepy.. I like to think he's doing all of this because he wants to rather than read it from a book. I agree with Jeannie where you have to be mutually understanding. I do things I don't want to because I know he'll like it.. and vice versa. It's not a daily habit but still :)

That said he has to be able to meet halfway. Someone once told me a very wise thing.. A relationship is 100% both ways.. not 50/50. If he (or she) is not giving 100%.. you are with the wrong person.