Oh Puh-leeze!!! There is no way in hell....

... that any man is ever going to do any of this. Not with a straight face, and certainly not for more than 10 seconds. Who does this crazy guy think he's foolin'? He had to be laughing like a monkey the whole time he sat bashing away at his keyboard writing this article. Guys, really, is this some sort of "male humor" thing? Tell me please cause I can't on any day, for any reason, see my husband doing any of this crap (except cooking a meal and I hate it when he does that). And if he did I would be wondering what really awful thing he had done or was thinking about doing. Or whether or not he was fixing to divorce me. Ladies, am I right? Any woman would drop dead on the instant if her man voluntarily began to massage her feet, or actually handed her the remote. And further more and on top of that: from number 1 "Make it look like you want to do it." ??? How, pray tell, does this yahoo think a man is going to do that? He sure doesn't give any pointers on how they are to manage that part, now does he? I'm sorry, but this article is just a load of crap. If men could do any of those things with smile on their face... no one would be having to write a stupid article telling them to do it!!!
Besides... this article is sorta creepy on a whole other level. It's like Cosmo for men. I'm shuddering. I don't want a man who reads man Cosmo. That's just wrong. I don't want a man who butts in on my shtick, takes over my job, horns in on my turf. Being touchy feely is my job. The woman's job. I'm the one who is supposed to send a little note telling him how wonderful he was last night, or making him dinner (my man butts into my kitchen too often as it is), or driving him to the airport or watching a show or a sporting event with him. I would not want to have to have him nosing in on what I'm watching or doing or whatever. That's just not cool. In a relationship men and women have things they are equally responsible for, things that the woman is responsible for, and things that the man is responsible for. I have no intention of messing in his business and I certainly don't want him messing in mine. As far as I'm concerned,that's the way to keep a relationship running smoothly and happily. Let him stick to his territory and me to mine and we'll meet in the middle as it should be.
Thing is, I think we should each learn to accept our position and responsibilities in a relationship and just deal with it. If you aren't happy with what you are doing, then you need to really take stock of your situation and figure out if you need to go on down the road or if you just want to accept it. Sometimes going on down the road is the right thing to do. Sometimes staying and accepting is the right thing. Only you can make that decision. But each person should be able to feel safe in their "place". Your partner should not be trying to take over your position, your responsibilities. And you shouldn't be trying to take over theirs. It's better if each person knows without question where they are supposed to be, what they are supposed to be doing, what their job is in the relationship. That's what leads to a more harmonious union. I think.



Simply Red ~ If You Don't Know Me By Now

This one's for you, Mr. Mike

Dio ~ Stand Up And Shout

It's the same old song
You've gotta be somewhere at sometime
They never let you fly.
It's like broken glass
You get cut before you see it
So open up your eyes.
You've got desire
So let it out.
You've got the fire
Stand up and shout-shout.
You've got wings of steel
But they never really move you
You only seem to crawl.
You've been nailed to the wheel
But never really turning
You know you've got to want it all.
You've got desire
So let it out.
You've got the fire
Stand up and shout.
You are the strongest chain
And not just some reflection
So never hide again.
You are the driver
You own the road
You are the fire go on explode.
You've got desire
So let it out.
You've got the power
Stand up and shout.

One of my all time favorite Dio songs. Thanks to Mr. Mike for reminding me just how great he is.

How about this one, Mr. Mike? Its from their second album "The Last in Line", which I also had on cassette.

Dio ~ We Rock

You watch their faces
You'll see the traces
Of the things they want to be
But only we can see.
They come for killing
They leave and still it seems
The cloud that's left behind
Oh, can penetrate your mind.
But sail on, sing a song, carry on
Cause We Rock, We Rock, We Rock, We Rock.
We pray to someone
But when it's said and done
It's really all the same
With just a different name.
So many voices
All giving choices
If we listen they will say
Oh, we can find the way.
But we'll sail on, sing a song, carry on
Cause We Rock, We Rock, We Rock, We Rock.
We Rock, We Rock, We Rock, We Rock.
We Rock!
We Rock
You watch their faces
You'll see the traces
Of the things they want to be
But only we can see.
They come for killing
They leave and still it seems
The cloud that's left behind
Can penetrate your mind.
Sail on, sing a song, carry on
Cause We Rock, We Rock, We Rock, We Rock.
We Rock, We Rock, We Rock, We Rock.
Ride out - stand and shout - carry on.
Sail on - Sing your song - carry on.
Cause We Rock, We Rock, see how We Rock.
We Rock.
That's rock.
We Rock.
We Rock.

The "other" Pete

Back story:
My husband Pete and I met way back in July of 1984. I was just a few days past my 18th birthday. He was a few months past his 43rd birthday. I fell head over heels, ass over tea kettle, in love with the man. I mean, hard, sweaty, forget to breathe, feeling dizzy, running a fever, can't sleep, can't eat, can't remember your own name, in love with the man! We got together immediately. We lived together (since he was a truck driver, we lived in his truck) for about 6 months. I'll cut to the point of this story, but if you want to learn more about the background stuff you can click here.
Anyway, when Pete and I parted ways in 1985, I started dating a guy who's name is actually John Peterson, but I knew him then as Pete Peterson. Funny, eh, since my husband is also known as Pete and not by his real name, which is Alfred. Peterson was an army buddy of my uncle Charles, whom I just spent a week and half with in TN. He was from MA, he talked funny (to my Southern ear) he was cute, and he was good in bed. It was purely a physical thing. He was good fun to be around, but I didn't fancy myself in love with him or anything like that. It was just a little fling. Thing is, I saw Pete, my Pete who is now my husband, some little while after I had started seeing Pete Peterson. He came to ask me to come back to him, and I was having too much fun partying to want to do that. (Teenagers are so frickin' smart, aren't they?) So, my Pete knows that I was seeing that Pete right after I broke up with him way back then. That Pete and my two uncles Charles and Donnie, were best buds for many years, even tho I moved on and didn't ever see him again, except once, at my uncle TL's funeral when my son was about 2 years old and I was still married to his dad. Sometime around 1996 Pete Peterson lost touch with my uncles and they hadn't heard from him since, but I didn't know that yet.
That's the short form of the back story to this story:
You all know that my uncle Charles was having health issues last month and that I went up to TN to care for him and help him as I could. Pete (my Pete) and Thomas drove me up there on a Saturday and they drove back home the very next day, a Sunday. Funny thing happened that Saturday evening while we were all still at Charles house. A friend named Kirsten had brought over a lot of food and stuff and she and I were in the kitchen getting things ready for supper and the guys were all in the living room talking. The phone rang and Kirsten picked up the kitchen phone but, since she is partially deaf in both ears, she couldn't make out what the person on the other end was saying. She handed the phone to me and I immediately switch gears and go into my best "professional receptionist" mode. I say, "Charles West residence, Holly speaking, how can I help you?" and this guy with an exceptionally thick North Easterner accent says, "This is John Peterson. I'd like to speak to Charles, please." So I take the phone to my uncle and I tell him the name and he gets this huge smile on his face and he grabs the phone and hollers, "Pete Peterson, you bastard! How the hell are you, man?!" And I nearly fell over. See, the whole time I was partying with him and doing the wild thang with him, all those years ago, I never knew his name was John.
I went back to the kitchen and eventually Charles got off the phone and we all got to the table for supper. During the course of the meal, Charles has to tell Kirsten the whole story of how he knew John Peterson and that he hadn't heard from him since about 1996 and that my uncle Donnie had met someone in his line of work that was from the town in MA where Pete is from and he had asked if the guy knew him and he did. (actually, since Pete was the youngest of 7 children and the only boy, the guy knew his sisters, not him, but when he got back home he gave one of Pete's sisters Donnie's business card to give to Pete and she did.)
Anyway... I just thought it was weird. Kinda ironic, that the last time I spent any time at my uncle Charles house, I was seeing Pete Peterson and my Pete had come by to try to get me to go back with him. And then just when I go back to his house for any time, married to my Pete, that Pete Peterson, who hadn't been in touch with Charles for years, should call. It was just funky and funny and weird and I could tell that hubby didn't like it but he didn't say anything, so neither did I.
I wonder if that Pete will come to the family reunion this year? It's going to be in FL and he is living in FL. On the coast somewhere, Gulf side, I think. South of Tampa/St. Pete. He has a live-in girlfriend. I wonder what he looks like now? I wonder if he's fat or skinny? If he still has those adorable light brown curls or if he's bald. I wonder if his eyes are still twinkly, or if they've gone dull with age and life in general? I wonder if he wonders what I look like? I know he remembers me cause I identified myself when I took the phone from Kirsten and Charles said that during the course of their conversation he asked if that was me. I wonder if my Pete will find some reason that we shouldn't go to the family reunion this year, just on the off chance that that Pete will be there? He better not.
So... different kind of comedy story, eh? Ironic? Sad? Silly? Twisted? I just thought it was a little curious. So there it is: the story of The Other Pete.

Ah... so that's what it means...

I always wondered about the name of this group: Three Dog Night. Now I know...

"The now-famous name came from a story about Australian aborigines who, on cold nights in the outback, sleep with their dogs for warmth. The coldest evenings are known as three dog nights."

That explanation came from their "official" website. I have also seen it said that the story was Eskimo/Inuit. Whichever... They were one of my earliest musical memories. They did so many, many fine songs. It would be impossible for me to pick just one as my "favorite". Tho I have spent hours and days and weeks pondering the words to this one:



Three Dog Night - Black & White

It came out in 1972 or 1973. I was 5 or 6 years old. Up to that time I had not seen many people who were not white. Except the older black couple who would come to my Granny's back door to sell their cakes. Yummy cakes they were, too. But they would never come to the front door, only the back. Curiouser and curiouser to a young girl who had never actually been taught to be prejudice. Anyway... like I said, their music made me think from a very young age.

Like this "One" which came out in 1969, when I was all of 3. It made me listen, it made me think, it made me feel... something... even at that tender age.

Three Dog Night - One

BJ Thomas had that effect on me too. His music is also one of my earliest memories. I still love his voice to this day. Besides, even at 5-6 years old I could see he was quite handsome. (I'm not kidding, he was, is, what ever...)

B.J. Thomas - Hooked On A Feeling

Anyway... not sure why these artists should stick in my mind, have made such an impression on me. I still am in awe of BJ's voice. And Three Dog Night still makes me go "huh" when I hear the name. And the song Black & White still makes me think, even now, these many years later. I guess I was really thinking about them now because of Barack Obama and race relations being in the news so much lately. You'd have thought we'd have evolved more since that song first came out than we have. Why should the color of someones skin matter? Why should anyone think it has anything to do with whether the person is capable? Kind? Intelligent? Sincere? A color is what you are, not who you are. The word "black" is an adjective, not a pejorative. Likewise for words like "white", "brown", "yellow" and "red".

The point is: as a human being, we are born with the ability, the instinct to love and to want love. We learn to hate as we grow. It is something we have to be taught. As a child, growing up in the South, I didn't understand that I was supposed to think of those two old black people any differently than I thought of any older person in my church or neighborhood. I showed them respect just like I did my Granny and her friends. I didn't understand why they didn't ever come to the front door just like everyone else. And thank the Lord that's a lesson I never did learn.

Thomas Update

As many of you know, we had to take Thomas to the emergency room late Wed. night/early Thur. morning (May 8) because of strong abdominal pain. It was an "enlarged" appendix. Thank God it was caught before full blown Appendicitis struck. He had it removed about 2pm Thur. afternoon. He had a reaction to the anesthetic, so they kept him in the hospital an extra day to make sure it was all out of his system. Naturally I stayed at the hospital with him the whole time. Except for a couple hours I took right after his surgery (while he was still sleeping it off) to go home and eat a real supper and take a shower and grab my meds. We came home Saturday, the 10th. Sunday, Mother's Day, he and I just slept all day and lazed around. We are recovering nicely now. Thomas has not asked for any of his pain medication. He is eating and sleeping normally. The only problem I have is keeping him from doing anything too strenuous. He can't lift anything, or be pullng and pushing on stuff until the staples come out. I will take him to see the doctor on the 20th to get that done and then he should be pretty much back to normal.
I have had an eventful few weeks and I hope all the excitement is over for now.

My trip

Anyway... been gone a few weeks. Was in Tennessee with my Uncle Charles, who had massive, seriously serious abdominal surgery on April 2nd, wherein they cut a big tumor out of his stomach and then took out about 8 inches of what intestines he has left. He was in the hospital for 16 days before they let him come home. Then he was home for a week and then the day before I was due to come home, he had a little set-back and I had to take him back to the hospital, where they kept him for three more days. He got home on a Monday and I left him to come home that Thursday evening. I did enjoy getting to know him better as an adult. I had not spent much time with him since I was in my late teens. Other than seeing him at family reunions and other family functions. And I didn't spend much time around him even then. Its a long story but here's the short of it:

"In 1981 he was working as a longshoreman in the port of Houston. He was nearly killed when a load shifted and a ton of steel pipes fell on him. He was in the hospital for over 8 months while the doctors tried to reconstruct his insides and save enough intestines and stomach so he could survive without being hooked up to a machine. They managed it but he had to wear a colostomy ever since. He lost the ability to sire children; had permanent nerve damage in his right leg which is now atrophying after all these years. He did manage to keep it supple for 27 years. A miracle, actually. Anyway, he got lots of money after that and he had a lot of mental anguish and he began drinking heavily and doing drugs heavily and people started hanging around him cause he was always willing to pay for the party and he liked people who would be "yes men" to him. I didn't like most of them (even some family members) whom I thought were just using him. But I never have been much of a druggie and a boozer. I grew out of that when I had my son, but I never liked it much even before that. Anyway... I chose not to be around that kind of stuff. I didn't agree with his lifestyle and I didn't want his money and I wasn't about to be a "yes" person to him or let him boss me around and be rude to me. Now... he's used up all his money, he's pretty much in the poor house, he has to depend on the VA for his health care and this year he had a bout of Mersa (that horrible staph infection that has been killing people all over the world in hospitals) and it got into the colostomy wound area and they had to cut that out and remove the ostomy from the left side of his abdomen and re-situate it on the right. Then his insides didn't want to work after the surgery... he's had a terrible time. I truly feel for him. Sure, you can say he pretty much brought all this hardship on himself, as far as the money thing goes and all, but the original accident was not his fault and he's still my uncle and I still love him even tho I don't always agree with him. So... that's the shortest version of that story as I could do."

So anyway, I stayed with him cause I thought it was the right thing to do. I still do. But I was tired as heck when I got back home. I was home Friday and then we got up Saturday morning and drove to Rockingham, NC to see the ARCA race. The motel I had a reservation at was horrible. The bathroom was moldy; the beds were saggy, and there were two guys out on the balcony in front of our room drinking beer and yelling at the cars as they drove by. Scary. And gross. So I called the Holiday Inn Express which we had seen on our way in to town and asked if they had a room available, which they did. So I got a refund from the Regal Inn and we went over to the Holiday Inn. Very nice room, clean, didn't have any funny odors; the carpet was nice and didn't stick to your bare feet; the continental breakfast the next morning was quite nice as well. The race at Rockingham was fantastic. I enjoyed it absolutely. I saw my man Tony Stewart. Actually was able to touch him on the shoulder and he smiled at me! What a blast! I'm still on cloud nine over that.

The weekend was just beautiful. Bright, sunny, breezy, beautiful. I got a colossal sun burn. My face and neck are just about the color of a perfectly ripe tomato. I look like a freak, pretty much. But it was worth all the agony I'm going thru now. I touched Smoke! He's beautiful, too. Much handsomer than any picture I've ever seen of him. Maybe later I'll explain about the pictures I didn't get and the fat man who jumped up in front of me just when I was snapping the picture of Tony and so on and so forth. So I didn't get a good close-up pic of him. I touched him, and that's way better than any old picture, to my way of thinking.

Anyway... that's about all I can do for tonight. I'm still kind of tired out. Haven't quite recovered from my double trip, yet. Not sorry I went either place, tho.